Vegas Blog Day 1

Old Geoff would've loved being in Vegas on the first weekend of the NCAA tournament. That version of me—the one who lived and breathed sports betting—would’ve had bets placed on every game, parlays lined up, and would’ve parked himself in front of a massive sportsbook screen for hours. It used to be one of the most exciting weekends of the year for me, but for all the wrong reasons.

When I made the arrangements for this trip, the last thing on my mind was the Tournament. I actually forgot NCAA basketball was even a thing. I’d only watched one game all season—and that was my school, Illinois. That’s it. I wasn’t following stats, brackets, or point spreads. Honestly, all I cared about was seeing Bert Kreischer and Nate Bargatze in the same weekend. That was the real win for me.

As I walked through the casino floors and heard the roar of crowds cheering on buzzer beaters and upsets, I couldn’t help but think of how different this trip would’ve looked a couple of years ago. Back then, I would’ve justified the trip as a “sports vacation,” but really, I would've just been chasing action—looking for the next high, the next win, the next chance to feel in control. But this time, it was different. I was present. I was relaxed. I laughed until my face hurt watching two of my favorite comedians. I soaked in the moment without the weight of bets hanging over me.

I’m incredibly grateful for the growth, for the recovery, and for the clarity. I’m thankful that I’ve created a life where I can enjoy something like Vegas without it being tied to gambling. A trip that would’ve once triggered anxiety and chaos now brought laughter, joy, and peace.

Old Geoff might’ve loved the buzz of the tournament, but I’m learning that new Geoff loves something else—freedom.

Thinking About Betting on the Super Bowl? Read This First

Super Bowl Sunday used to be my favorite day of the year. It wasn’t just about the game—it was about the action. I lived for the thrill of the bets, the dopamine rush that came with every touchdown, every turnover, and every last-second field goal. But that thrill had a price.

Last year, a record-breaking 68 million adults gambled away a staggering $23 billion on the Super Bowl. This year, that number is expected to grow by another 15%, adding at least $2 billion more to the total. More states have legalized sports betting, more apps make it easier than ever to place bets, and more people—some for the very first time—are stepping into a world that can quickly spiral out of control.

For me, the Super Bowl was always the most dangerous day of the year. It was the culmination of months of chasing losses, the justification for another deposit I swore would be my last, and the gateway to another downward spiral. It took me years to recognize that my ‘fun bets’ were anything but fun. They were destructive, isolating, and financially devastating.

The Dangers of Prop Bets and Other Super Bowl Wagers

One of the biggest draws of Super Bowl betting is the variety of bets you can place beyond just picking the winner. Prop bets, or proposition bets, allow you to wager on nearly every aspect of the game—how long the national anthem will last, what color Gatorade will be dumped on the winning coach, or even how many times a certain player will be mentioned during the broadcast. These bets seem harmless, but for problem gamblers, they are particularly dangerous.

Prop bets encourage impulsive gambling. Since they don’t require deep sports knowledge, they are easy to justify as “fun” bets. But they quickly add up, leading to chasing losses and reckless spending. For someone in recovery, they are a slippery slope that can reignite gambling addiction.

Then there are parlays, where you combine multiple bets into one wager, increasing the payout but also increasing the risk. Live betting allows gamblers to make wagers as the game unfolds, feeding the urge for instant gratification. The sportsbooks thrive on these bets, knowing that the odds are always in their favor.

For First-Time Bettors: How to Bet Responsibly

If you’re someone who has never placed a sports bet before and you’re thinking about trying it for the first time this Super Bowl, here are some things you need to know:

1. Set a budget and stick to it. Decide how much money you’re willing to lose, and once it’s gone, walk away. Do not chase your losses.

2. Avoid live betting. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and make impulsive wagers you wouldn’t normally place.

3. Don’t gamble on credit. Using a credit card or borrowing money to place bets is a dangerous path that can lead to debt and financial stress. Use the money you have and are willing to lose if your bets do not win. 

4. Limit the number of prop bets. Prop bets may seem harmless, but they can quickly lead to reckless betting. It’s easy to place multiple small bets that add up to significant losses. Stick to just one or two if you must partake.

5. Don’t let betting distract from the game. If you find yourself more focused on the bets than enjoying the event, take a step back.

6. Know the signs of problem gambling. If you find yourself lying about how much you’ve bet, feeling anxious about your losses, or gambling more than you intended, it might be time to step back.

7. Remember, sportsbooks are not your friend. The house always has the edge, and they thrive on people making reckless decisions.

The Bigger Picture

The numbers don’t lie—sports betting is skyrocketing, and the Super Bowl is its biggest stage. More people than ever are placing bets, and while some can do it responsibly, many will fall into the same trap I did. It’s why I speak out. It’s why I stay away. It’s why I remind myself every day that I don’t want to go back to the life I once had.

If you’re struggling with gambling, you’re not alone. There are resources out there to help. This Super Bowl Sunday, make a choice that’s good for you. It’s just one day—but one day can make all the difference.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.

 

Super Bowl LIX: A Recovering Gambling Addict’s Perspective

Super Bowl Sunday used to be my favorite day of the year. It wasn’t just about the game—it was about the action. I lived for the thrill of the bets, the dopamine rush that came with every touchdown, every turnover, and every last-second field goal. But that thrill had a price.

Last year, a record-breaking 68 million adults gambled away a staggering $23 billion on the Super Bowl. This year, that number is expected to grow by another 15%, adding at least $2 billion more to the total. More states have legalized sports betting, more apps make it easier than ever to place bets, and more people—some for the very first time—are stepping into a world that can quickly spiral out of control.

For me, the Super Bowl was always the most dangerous day of the year. It was the culmination of months of chasing losses, the justification for another deposit I swore would be my last, and the gateway to another downward spiral. It took me years to recognize that my ‘fun bets’ were anything but fun. They were destructive, isolating, and financially devastating.

If You’re a Gambling Addict—Stay Away

If you’re in recovery like I am, the best thing you can do on Super Bowl Sunday is stay away from betting entirely. The idea of “just one bet” is a lie we tell ourselves. I used to believe I could just bet on the coin toss or place a $10 wager on my favorite team. But for a compulsive gambler, one bet is never just one bet. It’s the first step toward chaos.

The Super Bowl is a minefield of gambling triggers—endless commercials for sportsbooks, friends discussing their bets, and the temptation to just check the odds “for fun.” I know from experience that checking those odds can quickly turn into placing a bet, then another, then another.

Here’s what I do instead: I make plans that have nothing to do with gambling. I watch the game with family and friends who don’t bet or make it obvious. I keep my phone away from betting apps. Use app blockers like gamban or betblocker. I remind myself how far I’ve come, how much money I’ve saved, (which I can track with apps like Evive- Gambling Health) and how much better my life is without gambling.

The Bigger Picture

The numbers don’t lie—sports betting is skyrocketing, and the Super Bowl is its biggest stage. More people than ever are placing bets, and while some can do it responsibly, many will fall into the same trap I did. It’s why I speak out. It’s why I stay away. It’s why I remind myself every day that I don’t want to go back to the life I once had.

If you’re struggling with gambling, you’re not alone. There are resources out there to help. This Super Bowl Sunday, make a choice that’s good for you. It’s just one day—but one day can make all the difference.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.

The Ins and Outs of Recovering from a Gambling Addiction

Recovering from a gambling addiction is a transformative journey that requires commitment, resilience, and a willingness to embrace change. Whether you've recently recognized the need to stop gambling or have been on this path for a while, the process is not just about abstaining from gambling but also about rebuilding your life in meaningful ways.

This journey can feel overwhelming at times, as gambling addiction often impacts multiple aspects of life, including finances, relationships, and mental health. However, it’s also an opportunity to rediscover yourself, regain control, and experience a more fulfilling and balanced life.

In recovery, it’s crucial to understand both the "ins"—the positive actions, habits, and mindsets that support your journey—and the "outs"—the pitfalls, behaviors, and triggers to avoid. By focusing on the right tools and strategies, and by remaining mindful of potential risks, you can navigate this path with confidence and hope.

Below, we’ll explore these key elements in detail to help you build a strong foundation for long-term recovery and a brighter future.

The Ins: What to Focus On

1. Building a Support System

Recovery is not a solo journey. Surround yourself with people who understand and support your efforts to stay gamble-free. Join recovery groups like Gamblers Anonymous or online communities, such as Discord servers for recovering gamblers. Sharing your story with trusted friends or family can also provide emotional relief and accountability.

2. Setting Financial Boundaries

One of the most challenging aspects of recovery is regaining control of your finances. Start by closing gambling accounts and blocking gambling websites. Consider working with a financial advisor or appointing a trusted accountability partner to help manage your money. Using a cash-only system can also help limit access to large sums or credit, reducing the temptation to gamble.

3. Identifying and Managing Triggers

Understanding what drives your gambling behavior is essential. Common triggers might include stress, boredom, or specific events like sports seasons. Develop strategies to cope with these triggers, such as exercising, journaling, or picking up a new hobby to redirect your focus.

4. Seeking Professional Help

Don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Therapists specializing in gambling addiction can provide tools and strategies tailored to your needs. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in addressing underlying patterns and thoughts that lead to gambling.

5. Tracking Progress and Celebrating Milestones

Recovery is about progress, not perfection. Keep a journal to track your days gamble-free and the positive changes you’re experiencing. Celebrate your milestones, whether it’s a week, a month, or a year free from gambling. These celebrations can motivate you to keep moving forward.

6. Learning New Coping Mechanisms

Find healthy ways to deal with stress and negative emotions. Mindfulness and meditation can help you stay grounded, while engaging in activities like volunteering, exercising, or creative pursuits can provide a sense of purpose and joy.

7. Educating Yourself

Knowledge is power. Learn about the psychological and financial impacts of gambling addiction to better understand your recovery process. Remember, recovery is about growth and self-discovery, not achieving perfection.

The Outs: What to Avoid

1. Avoiding Triggers

Steer clear of environments, apps, and situations that encourage gambling. Limit your exposure to gambling-related advertisements and media, especially during events like sports seasons.

2. Overconfidence in Recovery

It’s tempting to think you can gamble responsibly after some time away, but this mindset can quickly lead to relapse. Stay committed to your decision to remain gamble-free.

3. Secrecy

Keeping your struggles or urges hidden can make recovery more challenging. Transparency with your support system builds trust and accountability, making it easier to stay on track.

4. Financial Risk-Taking

Avoid engaging in high-risk financial behaviors, such as speculative investing, which can mimic the thrill of gambling. Focus on building a stable and secure financial foundation instead.

5. Neglecting Self-Care

Your physical and mental well-being play a crucial role in recovery. Prioritize healthy habits like proper sleep, balanced nutrition, and regular exercise. Avoid overworking yourself, as burnout can increase vulnerability to relapse.

6. Dwelling on Losses

Obsession over past financial losses or trying to “make it back” is counterproductive and can hinder your emotional recovery. Instead, focus on the future and the progress you’re making.

7. Associating with Enablers

Distance yourself from individuals or groups who normalize or encourage gambling behavior. Surround yourself with people who support your recovery goals.

Recovery from gambling addiction is a journey filled with challenges and triumphs. Celebrate your progress, learn from setbacks, and remain committed to building a healthier, more fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone. Many people have successfully overcome gambling addiction, and so can you. With the right tools, support, and mindset, a brighter future is within reach.

Steps 8 and 9: The Hardest Part of Recovery

In any recovery programs there are typically twelve steps to the program: 

1. We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become unmanageable. ✅
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living. ✅
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding. ✅
4. Made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves. ✅
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. ✅
6. We're entirely ready to have these defects of character removed. ✅
7. Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. ✅
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. ⭘
9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. ⭘
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. ✅
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. ✅
12. Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to other compulsive gamblers. ✅

 

If this was a test, I would barely be passing at 83 percent. But it's not. It's real life. 

 

One of the hardest parts of recovery is coming face to face with the damages done to other individuals we truly care(d) about the most. Over the past 580 or so days, I've had to face the uncomfortable truth about myself and take full responsibility for the lies, hurt and broken trust I left as a result of my past life. This is especially true for someone I still very much love. 

 

Step 8: Make a list of all persons we had harmed. 

 

There only will ever be one person that comes to mind. I lied, not always but I lied, nonetheless. I lied about my gambling, how much I was in debt and how bad my addiction truly was. I lied about how I was feeling, telling her I was fine when I was not. I did not want to face reality most days because I knew exactly where it would end up. At first, the lies were small, quick excuses to cover up my shame. But soon, they became heavier, suffocating the very connection that mattered most.

 

Step 9: Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 

 

I wish I could tell her in person, but I also know, I am the last person she ever wants to see again. If you have this opportunity to make amends in person, do it. Don't take the cowards way out and write about it for others to see. Or do and try to make it sincere as possible.

Making amends is more than saying “I’m sorry”; it’s about showing through action that we take responsibility for our behavior and are working to change. I owe her more than a hollow apology—I owe her honesty and accountability. While I can’t undo the harm I caused, I can take steps to ensure I never repeat those mistakes.

 

"****** (Name redacted for obvious reasons)—

There is no amount of apologies that can make up for the lies and trust I broke. You were nothing but the greatest woman I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I was too ashamed to admit my faults, so I kept hiding—hiding in the office, hiding from the truth, and hiding from you. I avoided confronting my addictive behaviors because deep down, I knew this was exactly where I would end up if I continued down that path. And yet, I did it anyway.

I let you believe things were okay, even when they weren’t. I never told you how devastated I was when I didn’t get into veterinary school. I carried that failure like a secret shame and tried to medicate the depression the only way I knew how—by hiding in the office, watching sports, and gambling money I didn’t really have. I’m deeply sorry for taking out loans just to pay off my credit cards, and then using those same cards to fuel my addiction. The weight of those choices is mine alone, but I know you carried the fallout, and that’s not fair.

You didn’t deserve any of this. You deserved my honesty, my vulnerability, and my trust—things I should have given freely but withheld out of fear and pride. For that, I will always regret what I did.

I miss you, Zinnia, and Dolly. I miss the life we shared and the future I selfishly threw away. I know that an apology won’t bring any of it back, but I hope this honesty can bring some small measure of peace, if not for us, then at least for you. 

I love you."

What I’ve Learned

Steps 8 and 9 have taught me that true healing requires courage. It requires us to confront the damage we’ve caused, no matter how painful it may be, and take meaningful steps to repair it. Apologizing to the people we’ve hurt does not guarantee forgiveness, but it allows us to release the burden of shame and guilt that we’ve carried.

I’ve also learned that making amends is not a one-time act; it’s a lifelong commitment to living differently. For me, that means continuing to work on my recovery, being honest with those around me, and sharing my story so others know they aren’t alone.

To the woman I love, and to anyone else I’ve hurt along the way: I hope my actions moving forward can be a better apology than any words I could write.

If you’re struggling with gambling addiction and feel overwhelmed by the damage it’s caused, know this: recovery is possible. Steps 8 and 9 are not easy, but they are a path to healing, both for yourself and for the people you care about. Start where you are, be willing to face the truth, and take things one step at a time.

We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it—and we can build a better future.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time. 

Managing Debt While in Recovery from a Gambling Addiction

 Recovering from a gambling addiction is a journey filled with milestones, and one of the most significant challenges many face is managing the financial consequences of their gambling habits. For many, the weight of debt accumulated during active gambling can feel overwhelming. However, with careful planning, realistic goal-setting, and a commitment to recovery, it’s possible to regain financial stability and peace of mind.

1. Accept Your Financial Reality

The first step to managing debt is acknowledging its existence. Denial or avoidance will only compound the issue. Take stock of your financial situation by listing all your debts, including credit cards, loans, and overdue bills. Be honest with yourself about how much you owe and the interest rates associated with each debt.

2. Create a Realistic Budget

A budget is a crucial tool for anyone recovering from gambling addiction. Start by tracking your monthly income and expenses. Allocate funds for essentials such as housing, food, utilities, and transportation. After covering these necessities, determine how much you can realistically put toward debt repayment while still leaving room for savings and recovery-related expenses. I posted a link to my favorite budgeting tool. It has helped tremendously while I have been trying to get a hold of my personal finances.

3. Prioritize Debts Strategically

Not all debts are created equal. Focus on paying off high-interest debts first, as they can grow quickly if left unattended. Alternatively, the snowball method—paying off the smallest debts first to build momentum—can provide psychological wins that encourage you to keep going. Whichever strategy you choose, consistency is key.

4. Seek Financial Counseling

Professional financial counselors can offer guidance tailored to your situation. Many organizations specialize in helping individuals with gambling-related debt. These professionals can assist with creating repayment plans, negotiating with creditors, and finding resources to support your recovery.

5. Communicate with Creditors

If you're struggling to make payments, reach out to your creditors. Many are willing to work with you by offering lower interest rates, extended payment plans, or temporary forbearance. Being proactive about your financial struggles shows responsibility and can prevent further damage to your credit score.

6. Avoid New Debt

While repaying your existing debts, it’s critical to avoid accumulating new ones. This means steering clear of credit cards, payday loans, and any other forms of borrowing. Building an emergency fund, even if it starts small, can help prevent the need for new debt in the future.

7. Leverage Support Networks

Recovery often involves a strong support system, and the same applies to managing debt. Share your financial goals with trusted friends, family, or members of your recovery group. They can provide encouragement and help you stay accountable. Additionally, consider joining groups like Gamblers Anonymous, where others in similar situations can share advice and resources.

8. Practice Patience and Self-Compassion

Recovering financially from gambling addiction is a marathon, not a sprint. There may be setbacks along the way, but progress, no matter how small, is still progress. Be kind to yourself and celebrate milestones, like paying off a credit card or sticking to your budget for a month.

9. Focus on Your Recovery

Your recovery journey and financial health are deeply intertwined. By staying committed to your recovery plan, you’ll reduce the risk of relapse and the temptation to gamble away money meant for debt repayment. Consider therapy or counseling to address underlying triggers for gambling and to develop healthier coping mechanisms.

10. Consider a Fresh Start if Necessary

If your debt is insurmountable, bankruptcy may be an option. While it’s not a decision to take lightly, it can provide a clean slate for those whose debts are truly unmanageable. Speak with a financial advisor or attorney to understand the long-term implications and whether it’s the right choice for you.

Managing debt while in recovery from gambling addiction is challenging but entirely achievable with the right mindset and resources. Each step you take toward financial stability is a testament to your commitment to a healthier, more stable life. Remember, recovery is not just about stopping gambling; it’s about rebuilding the life you deserve, free from the burden of addiction.

Are you working on managing your gambling-related debt? What strategies have helped you the most? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

The Cost of Secrecy: How Gambling Addiction Can Destroy Relationships

Today, October 6th, would have been our fifth anniversary. That’s why I feel it’s crucial to warn other compulsive gamblers about the devastating effects gambling can have on relationships. This isn't about seeking pity—I made choices that led to this. I gambled with money I didn’t have (took out loans, not stealing), hid the truth, and lied to the woman I loved. Our relationship, full of more good times than bad, ended because of my actions. I’m writing this in the hope that others can learn from my mistakes.

In every loving relationship, honesty is the foundation on which trust is built. But when it comes to gambling addiction, opening up to your partner can feel overwhelming. The fear of being judged, the shame of your actions, and the anxiety over what might happen if they knew the truth can make it incredibly tempting to keep it hidden. I know that feeling all too well. However, being honest about your addiction isn’t just important—it’s necessary. Here’s why:

Strengthening Trust:

Trust is the cornerstone of a strong relationship. Being open about your gambling addiction, though hard, shows your commitment to honesty. Sharing your struggles can strengthen the bond between you and your partner. 

Avoiding Deception and Betrayal:

Keeping a gambling problem hidden often leads to lies and financial manipulation. This can destroy trust. Being transparent from the start avoids these harmful consequences.

Encouraging Open Communication:

Opening up sets a precedent for honest communication. It signals that both partners can trust each other in with their vulnerabilities, fostering a healthier relationship. 

I rarely opened up to her about my gambling. It was something I kept hidden, out of fear and shame. Looking back, I realize how isolating that made my struggle, not just for me but for her, too. Your partner should be your best friend, the person you can turn to in your lowest moments, but I failed to do that. That’s why it’s so important to talk to your partner about your gambling addiction. It may feel uncomfortable or embarrassing, but sharing this burden can bring you closer, rather than letting it drive you apart. By being honest with your best friend, you give them the chance to support you and understand what you're going through, instead of leaving them in the dark and unintentionally pushing them away.

How to Discuss Your Gambling Addiction with Your Partner:

1. Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a private, quiet setting where you can talk openly without distractions.
2. Be Prepared: Educate yourself about gambling addiction and be ready to explain your struggle and plan for recovery.
3. Express Your Feelings: Share how the addiction has impacted you emotionally, physically, and financially. Avoid discussing it during periods of stress or anger.
4. Listen Actively: Encourage your partner to share their feelings, concerns, and questions.
5. Offer a Plan: Show your commitment to recovery by outlining a clear plan, whether it's seeking professional help, attending support groups, or setting financial boundaries.
6. Seek Professional Help: Involve a therapist or support group to provide guidance for both you and your partner.

What Not to Do:

1. Avoid Blame: Don't point fingers. Your gambling is your responsibility.
2. Don’t Downplay the Issue: Be honest about the severity of your addiction.
3. Don’t Make Empty Promises: Ensure your commitment to recovery is backed by action, not just words.
4. Don’t Expect Immediate Understanding: Give your partner time to process the information.
5. Don’t Do Nothing: Take immediate steps to change. If you do nothing, your partner may leave.

If They Choose to Leave:

1. Respect Their Decision: Don’t force them to stay. Relationships require mutual effort.
2. Focus on Recovery: Use the time to focus on personal growth and healing.
3. Learn from Experience: Reflect on how your addiction affected the relationship and work on improving yourself.

If your partner chooses to stay, cherish the opportunity to rebuild your relationship. Spend time together, be present, and replace the hours spent gambling with activities that strengthen your bond. Being honest about your struggles will make life better. 

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time. 

Can Compulsive Gamblers Ever Gamble Again?

 The past 36 hours have been quite terrifying. The last thing a pet owner ever expects is to see their beloved pet and best friend as roadkill in the middle of a busy intersection. Yet there I was, standing on the corner, frozen in disbelief. My mom's dog—her constant companion who never left her side—had gone missing just hours before. Now, he lay there in the middle of the road, his lifeless body a heartbreaking sight. I’ll spare the gruesome details, but his injuries were so severe that it’s a vision I’ll never forget. Seeing him like that was like a punch to the gut, a sudden reminder of how fragile life is.

The shock of it all has been overwhelming, leaving a heavy weight in my chest that I can’t seem to shake. My mom is heartbroken, and seeing her in that much pain is unbearable. It’s hard to put into words what it's like to witness someone you love go through such a loss, especially when the one who was lost was so deeply cherished. For a moment, I felt the urge to shut down, to numb myself from the wave of emotions crashing over me.

For most of us compulsive gamblers, that urge to numb out is all too familiar. We used gambling as a way to escape, to run away from our pain and problems. The highs and lows of betting, the rush of adrenaline—it all helped us forget, even if just for a moment. Lately, I’ve felt those old urges creeping back in, whispering to me like a familiar voice calling me home.

These feelings started surfacing a few weeks ago. This time of year has always been my favorite: the crisp air, the changing leaves, and, of course, football season. In the past, football season was my favorite time to gamble. I would get caught up in the excitement, blindly wagering money I didn't have on games I barely understood, just to feel something—anything—to fill the void.

Then, just days before we found Benny, I got an email from one of the sportsbooks I used to use. It said that my self-exclusion period was up and that I could now place bets again. It felt like they were dangling temptation right in front of me, as if they knew I might be vulnerable, as if they knew exactly how to lure me back in.

When Benny died, that temptation grew even stronger. My mind slipped back into old patterns, searching for a way out, a way to forget. In the past, I would have given in, rushing back to my old habits, finding any excuse to place a bet and escape the pain I was feeling. But now, I know better. I’m learning to recognize these urges for what they are: temporary and not worth the cost. I’m trying to cope with these emotions in healthier ways, even when everything feels overwhelming.

I wish I could say it's easy, but it’s not. Every day feels like a battle, especially with everything going on right now. But I’m holding on, reminding myself why I chose this path in the first place. I want to be present for my mom, to support her as she grieves, and to show myself that I can get through this without falling back into old patterns.

Through all this, I keep catching myself thinking, “Just one bet won’t hurt” or “Maybe I could gamble just on weekends; that would be fine.” But the real answer is: it won’t. It will never be just one bet or only on the weekends. NEWSFLASH: they play other sports throughout the week. And that leads me to ask the age-old question for us compulsive gamblers: “Can a compulsive gambler ever gamble again?”

The Risks of Returning to Gambling

For most compulsive gamblers, returning to any form of gambling presents significant risks. Here’s why:

1. The "Just One More" Fallacy: Many who struggle with gambling addiction believe they can have just one more bet and then stop. Unfortunately, for a compulsive gambler, “just one more” rarely ends with a single bet. The very nature of addiction is a loss of control. Even after years of abstinence, a single bet can trigger a rapid return to the compulsive gambling cycle.

2. Neuroplasticity and Memory: The brain remembers the patterns associated with addiction. Neuroplasticity, or the brain’s ability to reorganize itself, means that pathways formed during addiction can quickly be reactivated. Just one gambling session can bring back the habits and cravings that led to addiction in the first place.

3. Progressive Nature of Addiction: Gambling addiction is often compared to other forms of addiction, such as alcoholism or drug dependence. Many recovering gamblers find that their addiction is progressive; that is, it worsens over time. Even after a period of abstinence, returning to gambling can lead to faster escalation and more severe consequences than before.

4. Triggers and Environmental Cues: Casinos, sportsbooks, and online gambling platforms are designed to be highly stimulating. They trigger the brain’s reward system, making it incredibly challenging for a recovering addict to resist. Exposure to these environments can bring back memories and feelings associated with gambling, increasing the temptation to gamble again.

Why Some Believe They Can Gamble Again

Despite the overwhelming evidence that returning to gambling can be dangerous, some compulsive gamblers still believe they can control their behavior if they gamble in moderation. This belief is often rooted in a desire to reclaim a sense of normalcy and control over their lives. For some, the idea of never gambling again feels too restrictive or even unrealistic.

However, it's essential to recognize that these feelings often stem from a lack of understanding of the true nature of addiction. Gambling is not a habit that can be moderated for someone who is addicted; it's a compulsive behavior that requires complete abstinence to achieve recovery.

Is There Any Safe Way?

So, can a compulsive gambler ever gamble again? The safest answer, supported by most addiction experts and recovery programs, is no. For a compulsive gambler, gambling in any form is likely to reignite the addiction, undoing months or years of hard-earned progress.

While some people might manage to gamble moderately after struggling with addiction, these cases are rare and often fraught with risk. It's crucial to weigh the potential dangers against the perceived benefits of returning to gambling. Is the short-term thrill worth the long-term consequences?

What’s the Alternative?

Instead of considering a return to gambling, those in recovery can focus on finding new hobbies and interests that provide fulfillment and excitement. Engaging in activities that stimulate the brain's reward system in healthier ways—such as exercise, creative endeavors, or building meaningful relationships—can help fill the void that gambling once occupied.

Support groups, like those found in recovery communities or the 'Compulsive Gamblers in Recovery' Discord server, can also be invaluable. These communities provide understanding, encouragement, and shared experiences that can help a person stay on track.

For compulsive gamblers, the desire to gamble again can be strong. However, it’s important to remember the risks involved. Gambling is a game where the odds are stacked against you, and for someone with a history of addiction, the cost of "just one bet" can be far too high. A life free from gambling might feel challenging at first, but with time, effort, and support, it is possible to build a rewarding and fulfilling future without returning to the grip of addiction.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.

Responsible Sports Gambling: Tips for This Football Season

As someone who has navigated the rocky road of sports gambling, I know firsthand how quickly things can spiral out of control. For those who choose to gamble on football this season, it's important to keep things in perspective. Here are a few personal tips to help you stay responsible while enjoying the game.

1. Set a Budget — And Stick to It

Decide in advance how much money you can afford to lose without affecting your daily life. Make sure it's an amount that, if lost, won't cause you financial stress or impact other areas of your life. Once you've set this budget, stick to it, no matter how tempting it might be to chase a loss.

2. Treat Gambling as Entertainment, Not Income

It's crucial to remember that sports gambling should be viewed as a form of entertainment, not a way to make money. Set realistic expectations and understand that the odds are often against you. If you're going into it thinking you'll "win big," you may be setting yourself up for disappointment and potential financial trouble.

3. Know When to Walk Away

Sometimes, the most responsible decision is to step back and walk away. If you find yourself getting frustrated, chasing losses, or feeling like you need to place one more bet, take a break. It's okay to pause, regroup, and come back when you're in a better frame of mind.

4. Set Time Limits

It's easy to lose track of time while betting on football games. Set a specific amount of time you plan to spend gambling and stick to it. When that time is up, walk away, regardless of whether you're winning or losing. This helps prevent gambling from taking over your schedule and ensures it remains just one part of your life.

5. Be Aware of Emotional Gambling

Football is an emotional sport. It's easy to get swept up in the excitement, especially when your favorite team is playing. Be aware of when you're making decisions based on emotion rather than logic. Emotional betting often leads to chasing losses or making impulsive bets. Take a step back and ensure your decisions are grounded in reason.

6. Use Betting Tools and Limits

Most sportsbooks offer tools to help manage your gambling activity, such as deposit limits, time alerts, and self-exclusion options. Utilize these tools to keep your habits in check. They can serve as great reminders to take a break and reflect on your gambling behavior.

7. Stay Connected to Support Networks

Whether it's friends, family, or a support group, stay connected to people who can offer perspective and support. If you find yourself struggling, don't hesitate to reach out. Remember, there is no shame in asking for help if you feel your gambling is getting out of hand.

8. Educate Yourself About Gambling Risks

Understanding the risks associated with sports gambling can help you make more informed decisions. Learn about the odds, the house edge, and how gambling addiction can develop. Knowledge is a powerful tool that can help you maintain control.

9. Keep Track of Your Gambling Activity

It's easy to lose track of how much you're spending or how often you're betting. Keep a journal or use an app to track your bets, wins, losses, and time spent gambling. This will help you see patterns and make necessary adjustments before things escalate.

10. Celebrate the Game, Not the Bet

Lastly, remember why you love football in the first place. Celebrate the thrill of the game, the community, and the excitement of the sport itself. Your passion for the game should never be overshadowed by a bet.

Responsible sports gambling isn't about avoiding the fun; it's about keeping things in balance. By following these tips, you can enjoy the football season without letting gambling take over your life. Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time. 

Understanding Triggers: How to Recognize and Avoid Sports Gambling Urges

 I will be completely honest. The past few days I have had quite a few urges to gamble. Football season is here, baseball is finishing up, and other fall sports are starting in the next couple months. I do not sit and watch sports anymore unless I am physically at the game. Even then, while there, I try to stay in the moment, mindfully watching the game unfold and not worry about what bets I would have placed had I still been gambling. This summer alone, I have gone to three baseball games, never once did I think about gambling on it. 

This past weekend, and most weekends that I usually spend alone and to myself. I get bored so, of course, I check out old websites from my past life, such as ESPN and check out the scores. Seeing those scores have been somewhat triggering to me recently. I am 100 percent sure its due to boredom, but that is why I always preach about finding alternatives for your time. You have to find other activities to keep your mind and body occupied. Sitting around on the couch, staring at a computer or phone screen will not cut it. 

One of the most critical aspects of recovery is understanding the triggers that lead to gambling urges. By recognizing and managing these triggers, you can significantly reduce the chances of relapse and build a more resilient path to recovery.

What Are Gambling Triggers?

A trigger is anything that sparks the urge to gamble. These can be external, like an advertisement for a betting site, or internal, like feelings of boredom or stress. Triggers are highly individual, meaning what sets off an urge in one person might not affect another. Understanding your personal triggers is key to developing effective strategies to avoid or cope with them.

Common Triggers for Sports Gambling

1. Emotional States: Negative emotions such as stress, anxiety, loneliness, or depression often serve as powerful triggers. Gambling can offer a temporary escape or distraction from these feelings.

2. Boredom: For many, gambling fills a void. When you’re bored or have unstructured time, the temptation to place a bet can feel overwhelming.

3. Social Situations: Being around friends or in environments where sports betting is common can easily lead to gambling. This includes watching a game at a bar where bets are being placed or engaging in conversations about betting odds.

4. Financial Pressure: The idea of winning big to solve financial problems is a dangerous trigger. When money is tight, the allure of a quick financial fix through gambling can be strong.

5. Promotions and Advertisements: Constant exposure to betting promotions, online ads, and emails from betting companies can serve as powerful triggers, reminding you of the potential thrill of placing a bet.

6. Sporting Events: Simply watching a game or event that you used to bet on can trigger the desire to gamble. The excitement of the event, combined with memories of past bets, can create a strong urge to place a wager.

How to Recognize Your Triggers

1. Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on the situations, emotions, and environments that have led you to gamble in the past. Keep a journal to track your feelings and behaviors when the urge to gamble arises.

2. Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness exercises to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions. This awareness can help you catch triggers early before they lead to action.

3. Talk to Others: Sometimes, those close to you can see patterns you might miss. Speak with trusted friends, family, or a therapist about your behaviors to gain new insights into your triggers.

Strategies to Avoid Gambling Triggers

1. Create New Routines: Structure your time to avoid boredom, which is a common trigger. Engage in hobbies, exercise, or other fulfilling activities that keep your mind and body occupied.

2. Limit Exposure to Sports Betting Content: Reduce or eliminate your exposure to betting ads, apps, and websites. Consider installing blockers on your devices to prevent access to gambling sites.

3. Set Boundaries with Friends: If social situations are a trigger, set clear boundaries with friends who gamble. Let them know about your recovery and ask for their support in avoiding gambling-related conversations.

4. Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Find healthier ways to cope with stress, anxiety, or other negative emotions. This might include meditation, talking to a friend, or engaging in physical activity.

5. Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling to manage triggers on your own, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in gambling addiction. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly effective in changing the thought patterns that lead to gambling.

Building a Support System

Overcoming a sports gambling addiction is a challenging process, and it’s not something you have to face alone. One of the most powerful tools in your recovery arsenal is a strong support system. A well-rounded support network can provide encouragement, accountability, and practical advice as you navigate the ups and downs of recovery.

Why a Support System Matters

Gambling addiction thrives in isolation. When you’re struggling alone, it’s easy to fall back into old habits and thought patterns. A support system disrupts this cycle by providing connection and understanding from people who know what you’re going through. Whether it’s friends, family, or fellow recovering gamblers, having people in your corner can make all the difference.

How to Build Your Support System

1. Reach Out: Don’t wait for others to come to you—take the initiative to reach out. Start by talking to trusted friends and family members about your recovery. Let them know how they can support you.

2. Join Online Communities: If you’re not already part of an online support community, consider joining one. The "Compulsive Gamblers in Recovery" Discord server is a great place to start. It’s easy to join, and you’ll immediately have access to a community of like-minded individuals who are ready to support you.

3. Attend Meetings: Whether virtual or in-person, regular attendance at support group meetings can reinforce your commitment to recovery. These meetings provide a structured environment where you can share your experiences and hear from others who are also on the path to recovery.

4. Engage with Professionals: If you’re not already seeing a therapist or counselor, now is the time to start. Professional help can provide you with the tools and insights you need to understand your addiction and develop strategies to overcome it.

5. Be Open and Honest: Building a support system requires vulnerability. Be open about your struggles and honest about your needs. The more transparent you are with your support network, the more effectively they can help you.

Understanding and managing your triggers is a critical component of overcoming sports gambling addiction. By recognizing what leads to the urge to gamble and taking proactive steps to avoid or cope with those triggers, you can regain control over your life. Recovery is a journey, but with the right strategies and support, it’s entirely possible to break free from the grip of sports gambling.

If you’re struggling with gambling addiction, remember that help is available. Reach out to a professional or join a support group to take the next step in your recovery journey.