Friday, October 24, 2025

900 Days.

900 days since my last bet.

900 days since the last time I sat and watched a sporting event thinking I could win money on it.

It’s strange how much life changes when you finally stop chasing something that was never real. I used to think I was in control. I used to think one more bet would fix everything—that the next win would make the losses, the guilt, the lies, all go away. But it never did. It only dug me deeper.

When I finally stopped gambling, I didn’t know who I was without it. Sports used to run my life. Every game had meaning, but not for the right reasons. I wasn’t watching because I loved the game—I was watching because I had money on it. I cared more about the over/under than the moment itself.

Now, 900 days later, I can sit down and watch a game again and actually enjoy it. No bets. No apps open. No constant checking my phone to see if I hit a parlay. Just the simple joy of watching something I used to love, without the chaos attached to it.

Every day away from gambling is a blessing. Life feels more free now. I’ve learned that freedom isn’t about having money or winning—it’s about peace. It’s about being able to wake up without shame, to look people in the eye again, to stop hiding.

If you’re reading this and still struggling, I get it. I’ve been there. The pain of knowing you’ve hurt people you love, the fear that you’ll never be trusted again, the emptiness after losing money you didn’t even have—it’s crushing. But I promise, it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Here’s what helped me rebuild my life:

Tell someone.
I hid for so long, thinking I could fix it myself. But silence is what keeps you sick. The moment I opened up and told someone what was really going on, things started to change. It wasn’t easy—but it was the start of getting my life back.

Cut off access to money.
I had to take away my ability to gamble. That meant letting someone else manage my accounts for a while, deleting betting apps, and blocking sites. It felt extreme, but I needed those barriers to protect myself from myself.

Find your people.
You can’t do this alone. I found a community of people who understood me, who didn’t judge, who helped me see that recovery was possible. Whether it’s a GA meeting, a Discord group, or online recovery spaces—connection matters.

Give your time to something that gives back.
When I stopped gambling, I realized how much time I’d lost. Thousands of hours. I started focusing on things that actually made my life better—spending time with family, helping others in recovery, working on myself. That’s where purpose comes from.

I’m not saying I have it all figured out. Some days are still hard. But even on my hardest day in recovery, life is still better than my best day gambling.

If you’re on Day 1, or maybe you’re trying again after a relapse—keep going. The freedom, peace, and self-respect you’ll gain are worth every struggle.

900 days later, I don’t miss the bets. I don’t miss the chaos. I don’t miss pretending.

What I have now—clarity, peace, and honesty—means more than any “big win” ever could.

Here’s to the next 900 days. One day at a time.

Monday, October 6, 2025

October 6th.

Today would have been our sixth anniversary. If you’re reading this and struggling with a gambling addiction, please—tell your best friends (Significant others, friends, and/or family), or just tell someone. Stop hiding. Seek help in any way you can.

I’m not writing this for sympathy or a “woe is me” moment. I hid my addiction. I gambled, took out loans to keep going, and lied to her—my best friend, the woman I loved. I don’t want pity. I’m sharing this because if you keep hiding, the consequences can be devastating.

Looking back, I can see how everything started to crumble the moment I chose silence over honesty. It’s a mistake I don’t want you to make.


The High Cost of Hiding the Truth

In every healthy, loving relationship, honesty is the bedrock upon which trust is built. When that foundation is strong, couples can weather almost any storm together. But some conversations are harder than others—and admitting to a gambling addiction often tops that list.

The fear of judgment, shame, or losing the person you love can make it tempting to keep the truth buried. But hiding comes with a heavy price. Choosing honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable, is one of the most powerful steps you can take to preserve and strengthen your relationship.

Here’s why being open with your significant other about your gambling addiction isn’t just important—it’s essential.


1. Strengthening Trust

Trust is the heartbeat of any lasting relationship. By opening up about your addiction, you’re showing your partner that you value transparency over secrecy. It demonstrates courage and a willingness to face hard truths together.

When your partner sees that you trust them enough to share something so personal, it deepens your emotional connection and reinforces the bond you share.


2. Building a Strong Support System

Gambling addiction can feel isolating. But when you confide in your partner, you allow them to become part of your recovery journey—not as a savior, but as a supporter.

They can offer emotional encouragement, help keep you accountable, and stand by you as you navigate this difficult path. Recovery is always stronger with a team behind you.


3. Avoiding Deception and Betrayal

Hiding a gambling addiction often leads to lies, secrecy, and financial manipulation—behaviors that slowly corrode trust. Deception doesn’t just hurt your partner; it fractures the relationship.

By being honest from the start, you prevent these cracks from forming. Transparency with your partner, close friends, and family creates a powerful defense against the destructive cycle of betrayal.


4. Encouraging Open Communication

Honesty invites honesty. By sharing your struggles, you set the tone for a relationship where both partners can speak openly about vulnerabilities. It creates a safe space where neither of you has to hide.

This kind of communication strengthens your bond and helps you face future challenges as a united front.


5. Rebuilding Together

Recovery is hard—but you don’t have to do it alone. When you face your gambling addiction side by side with your significant other, you’re not just healing yourself; you’re rebuilding your future together.

With mutual effort, patience, and accountability, you can create a relationship that’s even stronger and more meaningful than before.


How to Talk to Your Significant Other About Your Addiction

  • Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a quiet, private setting where you can speak without distractions. Sensitive conversations need space and calm.

  • Be Prepared: Learn about gambling addiction and reflect on how it has impacted your life. Be ready to answer their questions honestly.

  • Express Your Feelings: Share how this addiction has affected you emotionally, physically, and financially. Speak from the heart.

  • Listen Actively: This conversation isn’t one-sided. Your partner will have fears, questions, and emotions too. Let them be heard.

  • Offer a Clear Plan: Show commitment to change by outlining real steps—whether it’s therapy, support groups, financial boundaries, or all of the above. Words alone won’t rebuild trust—consistent action will.

  • Seek Professional Help: A therapist, counselor, or support group can give both of you structure, tools, and a roadmap for healing.


What Not to Do

  • Don’t Blame Your Partner: This is your responsibility to own.

  • Don’t Downplay the Problem: Minimizing only breeds mistrust and sets the stage for relapse.

  • Don’t Make Empty Promises: Promises without action mean nothing. Recovery requires a real plan.

  • Don’t Expect Immediate Understanding: Your partner may react with shock, hurt, or anger. Give them time to process.

  • Don’t Sit and Do Nothing: This is crucial. If you ignore the problem or drag your feet, you risk losing them. If you love your partner, act like it—now.


If They Choose to Leave

Not every relationship survives the impact of addiction. If your partner decides to walk away:

  • Respect Their Decision: Love cannot be forced.

  • Focus on Recovery: Use this as motivation to grow. Lean on friends, family, and your support network.

  • Learn From the Experience: Reflect deeply. Understand how your addiction affected the relationship and commit to becoming a better version of yourself.


If They Choose to Stay

If, after hearing your truth, your partner stays—consider it a gift. You’ve just had one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have, and you’ve been given a second chance. Don’t waste it.

Fill the time you once spent gambling with time spent with them. Go on dates. Watch holiday movies. Volunteer together. Rebuild memories. Be present. Show them, through your actions, that their trust wasn’t misplaced.


One Day at a Time

Recovery is built one day at a time. So is love. Once you let honesty in, everything else gets better.

For me, it took losing someone I loved to finally face my truth. I hope you don’t wait that long.

Wednesday, October 1, 2025

🛑 A Guide to Quitting Gambling and Rebuilding Your Life

 Written by someone who’s been there.

Facing the Truth

Gambling addiction is brutal. It’s not just about losing money — it’s about losing trust, time, sleep, self-respect, and often, the people you love most. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re tired of the cycle. Maybe you’ve hit rock bottom. Maybe you’re teetering on the edge. Either way, acknowledging the problem is the first step toward getting your life back.

I spent years hiding my gambling. I lied to my partner, drained savings, took out loans, and told myself “just one more bet” too many times to count. But I also know firsthand: recovery is possible. Life after gambling isn’t just “better” — it’s freer, clearer, and more meaningful than you can imagine right now.

This guide is not the end all be all, it is your starting point.

1. Tell Someone — Stop Hiding

Addiction thrives in secrecy. The single biggest turning point in recovery often comes when you stop living a double life and tell someone the truth — a friend, partner, therapist, support group, or even a stranger online who understands.

Why this matters:
• Accountability breaks the isolation that fuels gambling.
• It turns vague intentions into real commitments.
• It allows others to help you design guardrails.

📝 Action Step: Identify one trusted person and tell them honestly what’s been happening. If you’re not ready to tell someone personally, join an online support community and share your story there.

2. Cut Off Access to Money and Gambling Accounts

Willpower alone won’t cut it. You must make gambling physically harder to do. This means removing or limiting access to both money and gambling platforms.

Practical Steps:
• Block gambling sites/apps using tools like Gamban, BetBlocker, or your bank’s gambling blocks.
• Self-exclude from casinos and betting platforms.
• Hand over financial control temporarily to someone you trust.
• Close or freeze high-risk accounts.

📝 Action Step: Spend one focused hour today taking concrete blocking/self-exclusion actions. This step alone can drastically reduce impulsive relapses.

3. Understand Your Triggers

Many gambling relapses aren’t random — they’re triggered by emotions, environments, or events. Common triggers include boredom, watching sports, payday, emotional pain, or social settings where gambling is normalized.

Awareness is power. You can’t avoid every trigger, but you can anticipate and prepare for them.

📝 Action Step: Write down your top 5 triggers and how you’ll respond differently next time they arise.

4. Find a Recovery Community

Recovery is not a solo mission. Joining a community of people who truly get it is often the difference between temporary abstinence and lasting change.

Options include GA meetings, Discord recovery servers such as the Problem Gamblers in Recovery, Reddit’s r/gamblingaddiction and r/problemgambling, therapy groups, or local addiction centers.

📝 Action Step: Attend one meeting or join one online community this week. Just listen if you’re nervous — showing up is enough at first.

5. Build New Habits and Structure Your Time

Gambling fills time. When you stop, that empty space can feel overwhelming — and dangerous. The solution is intentional structure.

Ideas to fill the void: exercise, creative outlets, learning new skills, volunteering, or journaling.

📝 Action Step: Create a simple daily routine for mornings and evenings to stabilize your days early on.

6. Start Repairing Your Finances Gradually

Gambling often leaves a financial mess. Facing it can feel terrifying — but avoiding it keeps you stuck.

Practical Steps:
• Make a complete list of debts.
• Prioritize high-interest debt.
• Consider credit counseling or balance transfers.
• Track spending and build a small emergency fund.

📝 Action Step: Spend one weekend listing all your debts and income clearly. No judgment — just clarity.

7. Address the Mental Health Side

Gambling isn’t just a money problem — it’s a coping mechanism. Many struggle with depression, anxiety, trauma, or ADHD.

Key supports: therapy, medication if needed, honest conversations, and healthier coping strategies.

📝 Action Step: Book one therapy session or explore counseling resources.

8. Track Your Progress & Celebrate Milestones

Recovery is built one day at a time. Celebrate 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 6 months — each milestone matters. Count the hours, money, and mental space regained.

📝 Action Step: Start a recovery journal or tracker today. Check out Getevive.app

9. Be Prepared for Slips — and Don’t Give Up

Many people slip before they quit for good. A slip is not the end. What matters is how you respond. Analyze what triggered it, adjust your plan, and keep going.

💡 Remember: You’re not starting over from zero after a slip. You’re starting again with more knowledge than before.

10. Rebuild a Life You’re Excited About

Recovery isn’t just about not gambling — it’s about creating a life so meaningful and full that gambling doesn’t fit anymore. Over time, you’ll rediscover joy in the ordinary: dinners with friends, trips, hobbies, peaceful weekends, and financial stability.

One day, you’ll look back at this chapter and be proud you took the hardest step: starting.

 

Quitting gambling isn’t easy — but it’s absolutely worth it. I’ve lived both sides. I know the darkness, the guilt, and the desperation. But I also know the freedom, the clarity, and the quiet peace that comes with living gamble-free.

If you take one thing away from this: You can rebuild your life. One day, one decision, one honest conversation at a time.

 

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. 

Sunday, September 14, 2025

Finding Joy Without the Bets

 Since Covid, football season wasn’t just about the game for me — it was about the bets. I’d be glued to my phone, running through lines, chasing parlays, and calculating what every touchdown or turnover meant for my wallet. Even when I was physically at a game, I wasn’t really there. My eyes were on the screen, my thoughts consumed by the numbers, and the stress was constant.

This weekend, something was different. I went to my first football game since starting my recovery from sports gambling addiction. For the first time in years, I was able to enjoy it for what it truly was: the atmosphere, the energy of the crowd, the excitement of the plays, and simply being present in the moment. No bets. No stress. Just joy.

Recovery Doesn’t Mean Avoiding Life

When I first stopped gambling, I thought I’d have to give up sports altogether. I worried the stadiums, the broadcasts, even casual conversations about the game would always be too much of a trigger. In early recovery, avoiding those environments was the right move. But as I’ve grown stronger, I’ve realized recovery doesn’t mean hiding from life.

It’s about rebuilding a new relationship with the things you once tied to gambling. Today, football feels fun again — not because of the money on the line, but because of the connections, the traditions, and the memories I get to make without that heavy burden.

Steps for Those Just Starting Out

If you’re early in your recovery and can’t imagine watching a game without gambling, I want you to know it is possible. It takes time and work, but freedom is waiting. Here are some steps that helped me get here:

1. Cut off access to gambling money.
Separate yourself from temptation by handing over control of finances, closing accounts, or setting up safeguards that make it harder to act on impulses.

2. Build a strong support system.
Recovery groups, therapy, and trusted friends who understand your journey are lifelines. You don’t have to go through this alone.

3. Create new traditions.
Instead of making game day about bets, make it about food, friends, family, or simply enjoying the atmosphere. Reframe the experience.

4. Celebrate small wins.
Every day you stay gamble-free is a victory. It’s easy to downplay progress, but those days add up to weeks, months, and eventually, life-changing milestones.

What Recovery Gives Back

Walking into that stadium, I realized something powerful: recovery doesn’t just take gambling out of your life — it gives you life back. It gives you peace, the ability to focus on what matters, and the joy of experiencing moments fully.

I used to think I couldn’t enjoy football without gambling. Now I know the truth: I can enjoy it more. Because when you’re not chained to bets, you’re free to actually live.

If you’re struggling right now, I hope my story encourages you. Sports are still fun. Life is still exciting. And you don’t need gambling to make it meaningful. Recovery is proof of that.

Sunday, September 7, 2025

Building New Traditions on Football Sundays Without Gambling

For years, my Sundays looked the same. I’d wake up, pour some coffee, and immediately dive into my sportsbook apps. I wasn’t just casually browsing—I was hunting. Hunting for the “best” lines, scrolling endlessly, comparing odds across multiple books, and convincing myself that if I researched hard enough, I could find an edge. My version of “research” often included listening to podcasts about spreads, parlays, and gambling jargon that made me feel like I was part of an insider’s club.

On the surface, Sundays looked like quality time. I’d go out for coffee or breakfast with my partner, but if I’m being honest, my head was never really there. My mind was busy calculating bets, anticipating outcomes, and mentally preparing myself for wins or losses before kickoff even began. That pressure, that anxious energy, was the backdrop of what should have been a peaceful morning.

Today, Sundays look very different.

No, I don’t have the same routine of going out for breakfast with my partner—something I miss, and something I hope to rebuild one day. But what I do have now is peace. The stress of handicapping games and the weight of trying to outsmart sportsbooks are gone. Instead of sitting with my phone in hand before sunrise, I get a decent workout in first thing. A jog, a session at the gym, or even a simple bodyweight circuit at home sets the tone for my day. It gives me a natural rush of dopamine, something gambling only faked.

Afterward, I like to slow things down. A walk outside, especially in the crisp fall air, clears my head. I’ll listen to music, call a friend, or sometimes just enjoy the silence. Little things—like brewing my own coffee at home, journaling, or cooking a hearty breakfast—have become grounding rituals. These activities may sound simple, but they bring a sense of presence that I never felt while glued to betting apps.

Other “dopamine-boosting” activities I’ve woven into Sundays include:

  • Reading a few chapters of a book instead of scrolling lines.

  • Practicing gratitude journaling to set the tone for the week.

  • Spending time with pets—walking, playing, or just being with them.

  • Exploring new hobbies like trying out a new recipe or doing some light photography outdoors.

  • Connecting with people who matter, whether it’s a phone call, a coffee meetup, or simply being available instead of distracted.

Football Sundays don’t have to vanish in recovery—but gambling does. I can still enjoy the game, but now it’s on my terms. No money is on the line, no stress about “bad beats,” and no disappointment when my “locks” inevitably lose. I can just sit down, watch if I want to, and genuinely enjoy the sport again—or choose to skip it entirely without feeling like I’m missing out.

For anyone struggling right now: it’s possible to rebuild Sundays. They won’t look exactly like they used to, and yes, you might miss some things. But what you gain—peace, health, and freedom—is worth so much more.

This Sunday, and most Sundays throughout the Football season, I will be live on my Discord server (click the link to join) at Noon CST (the time most NFL games are playing) for those struggling and need to talk. I call them “Weekly Check ins” . No agenda just talk/venting and even just making new friends and connections. We have all been in similar situations before and can benefit from each others lived experiences. This will not follow any kind of GA or other small groups. Open to talking about anything and everything on your mind. 

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time. 

Thursday, August 14, 2025

20 Questions That Made Me Realize I Had a Gambling Problem

 If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re a gambling addict, I’ve got some good news and some hard truth. There’s a simple test: 20 questions designed to help you figure it out. If you answer “yes” to 7 or more, you’re considered to have a gambling problem.

When I first came across these questions, I told myself, There’s no way I’d say yes to that many.
Turns out, I was wrong.

What follows is my brutally honest answers to each question—what it looked like in my life, how gambling seeped into every corner, and how I justified it at the time. Maybe you’ll see yourself in some of these. If you do, I hope it’s the nudge you need to start making a change.

1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?

Yes. I gambled first thing in the morning, usually on soccer. Before I even left for work, I’d be placing bets. Once I got to work, I’d check my wagers—if I won, I’d roll that into a midday game: baseball, soccer, whatever was on. Before leaving for home, I’d place bets for basketball or hockey. Technically, I was “at work,” but mentally, I was gambling.

2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?

Yes. If I won, I was “happy” in a fake, adrenaline-fueled way. But if I lost, my temper was short. It didn’t take much to set me off. I was moody, irritable, and disconnected from the people I cared about.

3. Did gambling affect your reputation?

No—or at least not publicly. I hid my gambling so well that no one knew the extent of it. But in hiding it, I was being selfish. I didn’t want people to think less of me, even though I was destroying myself behind closed doors.

4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?

Yes. Almost every time. The rush would fade, and I’d be left with the sinking feeling of, Why did I do that again?

5. Did you ever gamble to get money to pay debts or solve financial problems?

Yes. I convinced myself gambling could “save me.” If I could just win big enough, I’d pay off my credit cards and get ahead. Spoiler: it never worked.

6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?

Yes. My drive for anything outside gambling fell apart. I stopped pursuing hobbies, stopped caring about work growth, stopped chasing life. My whole world became a screen, odds, and a bet slip.

7. After losing, did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?

Yes. The infamous “chasing losses” cycle. I couldn’t accept losing. I had to win it back, even though deep down, I knew I was digging a deeper hole.

8. After a win, did you have a strong urge to return and win more?

Yes. A win was never enough. It wasn’t satisfaction—it was fuel to gamble more.

9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?

Yes. I can’t count the number of times I ran my bankroll down to $0.00. There was no “quit while you’re ahead” in my vocabulary.

10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?

Yes. Personal loans are dangerously easy to get. I took them out to pay off credit cards… then used the freed-up cards to gamble again. Looking back, I wish there were more safeguards in place to prevent that cycle.

11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?

No. I never sold possessions—but I didn’t need to. My credit cards and loans were my lifeline, and I used them recklessly.

12. Were you reluctant to use “gambling money” for normal expenses?

Yes. Buying groceries felt like a waste because “that money could be used for betting.” Even necessities took a back seat.

13. Did gambling make you careless about the welfare of yourself or your family?

Yes. I stopped caring about my health. I stopped working out. My relationships suffered. Gambling numbed me to the things that actually mattered.

14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?

Yes. I’d swear I wasn’t going to gamble that day, and then—“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.”

15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?

Yes. Gambling was my escape hatch. Anxiety? Arguments? Stress? I’d just place a bet and lose myself in the game.

16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?

No. I never crossed that line—but the thought of how close addiction can push people is terrifying.

17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty sleeping?

Yes. If I lost big, my mind would race all night replaying every bet. Sometimes I’d stay up until the West Coast games ended, hoping to “save” my night.

18. Do arguments, disappointments, or frustrations create an urge to gamble?

Yes. I hate confrontation. I’d retreat to another room, isolate myself, and gamble instead of facing my problems.

19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate good fortune by gambling?

Yes. Promotions at work, birthday money, tax refunds—it all found its way into my sportsbook account eventually.

20. Have you ever considered self-destruction or suicide because of your gambling?

No. But I know others who have or have considered doing so. Gambling addiction can take you there if you let it. That’s why this conversation matters.

My Score: 16 Out of 20

The test says if you answer “yes” to at least 7, you have a gambling problem. I doubled that.

When I first read these questions, I thought they were too extreme—something for “other people” who had “real problems.” But the truth is, gambling addiction looks a lot like regular life… until you step back and realize you’ve been living for the next bet instead of living your life.

If you see yourself in these answers—even just a few—please don’t ignore it. Talk to someone. Find a support group. Block the betting apps. I promise, life on the other side of gambling is better than you can imagine.

Thursday, August 7, 2025

The Real Cost of a Parlay: How Gambling Took More Than Just My Money

 Gambling can feel like an adrenaline rush, an escape, or even a shortcut to easy riches. But for those of us who have struggled with addiction, it’s easy to get lost in the moment, betting more than we can afford to lose. In this post, I want to talk about something that goes beyond the dollars and cents of gambling — the emotional, relational, and personal toll it takes when you chase that big win, especially when you fall into the trap of a parlay.

What is a Parlay?

A parlay is a single bet that links two or more individual bets into one, with the potential for a larger payout. The catch? Every single bet in the parlay needs to win for the bet to pay out. For many, the allure of multiplying winnings from multiple outcomes seems too good to pass up. The excitement builds, and suddenly, a small wager turns into something that feels like it could change your life.

But, as with everything in gambling, the risk is huge.

The Illusion of Easy Money

In the beginning, gambling seems innocent enough. Maybe you start by betting on a few games here and there, enjoying the rush of watching a game while your money’s on the line. But soon, the stakes get higher. You start believing the hype — that one lucky parlay, that perfect bet, is all you need to change everything. It starts to feel like you’ve found a shortcut to success, that somehow, this is the way out of your financial woes.

But the truth is, the bigger the risk, the greater the odds are that you'll lose. And when you lose, it feels even worse because now you’ve placed all your hopes on a combination of outcomes. It’s not just one bet you’ve lost, it’s a series of dreams that didn’t come true.

The Emotional Cost

The emotional cost of gambling addiction can’t be measured in just numbers. It affects your mental health, your sense of self-worth, and your overall happiness.

I remember the intense highs of winning, and the crushing lows of loss. But it wasn’t just the money that hurt when I lost a parlay — it was the emotional fallout. The frustration. The self-loathing. The never-ending cycle of chasing losses, telling myself, “Just one more bet and I’ll make it all back.”

But the losses kept piling up, and with each one, I felt smaller, less capable, and less in control of my own life. Gambling wasn’t just about money; it was about trying to fill an empty space with something that would never be enough.

The Relationship Cost

Gambling doesn't just affect the gambler; it impacts those around them too. It erodes trust, causes tension, and can even lead to the breakdown of relationships. For me, gambling addiction cost me the trust of loved ones. I lied, I hid my habits, and I avoided the people who cared about me, all while convincing myself that the next bet was going to be the one that changed everything.

The reality is, those loved ones were left in the wake of my decisions. The time I could’ve spent with family and friends was consumed by the obsession of making that next bet. The guilt of knowing I had hurt people I cared about, whether by lying about how much I was betting or by simply being absent, weighed heavily on me.

The Personal Cost

Beyond the emotional and relational toll, gambling takes away something that’s even harder to get back: time. I’ve lost countless hours of my life chasing parlay bets and the fleeting hope of winning big. Time I could’ve spent on hobbies, building my career, nurturing my relationships, or just living in the moment. The obsession kept me on edge, always thinking about what I’d bet on next and whether I’d win or lose. It consumed me, until one day I realized I had squandered so much of my time and potential.

GambliGambling can feel like an adrenaline rush, an escape, or even a shortcut to easy riches. But for those of us who have struggled with addiction, it’s easy to get lost in the moment, betting more than we can afford to lose. In this post, I want to talk about something that goes beyond the dollars and cents of gambling — the emotional, relational, and personal toll it takes when you chase that big win, especially when you fall into the trap of a parlay.

What is a Parlay?

A parlay is a single bet that links two or more individual bets into one, with the potential for a larger payout. The catch? Every single bet in the parlay needs to win for the bet to pay out. For many, the allure of multiplying winnings from multiple outcomes seems too good to pass up. The excitement builds, and suddenly, a small wager turns into something that feels like it could change your life.

But, as with everything in gambling, the risk is huge.

The Illusion of Easy Money

In the beginning, gambling seems innocent enough. Maybe you start by betting on a few games here and there, enjoying the rush of watching a game while your money’s on the line. But soon, the stakes get higher. You start believing the hype — that one lucky parlay, that perfect bet, is all you need to change everything. It starts to feel like you’ve found a shortcut to success, that somehow, this is the way out of your financial woes.

But the truth is, the bigger the risk, the greater the odds are that you'll lose. And when you lose, it feels even worse because now you’ve placed all your hopes on a combination of outcomes. It’s not just one bet you’ve lost, it’s a series of dreams that didn’t come true.

The Emotional Cost

The emotional cost of gambling addiction can’t be measured in just numbers. It affects your mental health, your sense of self-worth, and your overall happiness.

I remember the intense highs of winning, and the crushing lows of loss. But it wasn’t just the money that hurt when I lost a parlay — it was the emotional fallout. The frustration. The self-loathing. The never-ending cycle of chasing losses, telling myself, “Just one more bet and I’ll make it all back.”

But the losses kept piling up, and with each one, I felt smaller, less capable, and less in control of my own life. Gambling wasn’t just about money; it was about trying to fill an empty space with something that would never be enough.

The Relationship Cost

Gambling doesn't just affect the gambler; it impacts those around them too. It erodes trust, causes tension, and can even lead to the breakdown of relationships. For me, gambling addiction cost me the trust of loved ones. I lied, I hid my habits, and I avoided the people who cared about me, all while convincing myself that the next bet was going to be the one that changed everything.

The reality is, those loved ones were left in the wake of my decisions. The time I could’ve spent with family and friends was consumed by the obsession of making that next bet. The guilt of knowing I had hurt people I cared about, whether by lying about how much I was betting or by simply being absent, weighed heavily on me.

The Personal Cost

Beyond the emotional and relational toll, gambling takes away something that’s even harder to get back: time. I’ve lost countless hours of my life chasing parlay bets and the fleeting hope of winning big. Time I could’ve spent on hobbies, building my career, nurturing my relationships, or just living in the moment. The obsession kept me on edge, always thinking about what I’d bet on next and whether I’d win or lose. It consumed me, until one day I realized I had squandered so much of my time and potential.

Gambling isn’t just a financial drain — it’s a thief of your time and energy, leaving you with little else.

The Turning Point: Breaking the Cycle

I hit a point where I realized that the cost of my gambling addiction wasn’t just in the money I’d lost — it was in everything I had sacrificed. The emotional rollercoaster wasn’t worth it. The broken relationships, the time lost, and the damage to my own self-worth were far more costly than any win could ever make up for.

It’s not easy to quit, and it’s not something that happens overnight. But acknowledging the real cost of my addiction was the first step in reclaiming my life.

A Message of Hope

If you’re reading this and find yourself in the same situation — lost in the cycle of betting, especially with parlays — I want you to know that there is hope. The damage can be undone. You can take back control, one step at a time. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Reach out to support groups, talk to those who understand your struggles, and take the necessary steps to stop the cycle. The true cost of gambling is far greater than money, but the rewards of recovery are priceless.

Final Thoughts

If you're struggling, remember: you’re not alone. The journey of recovery is one filled with ups and downs, but with each step, you gain back more than just what you’ve lost. You gain your time, your peace of mind, and your life back.ng isn’t just a financial drain — it’s a thief of your time and energy, leaving you with little else.

The Turning Point: Breaking the Cycle

I hit a point where I realized that the cost of my gambling addiction wasn’t just in the money I’d lost — it was in everything I had sacrificed. The emotional rollercoaster wasn’t worth it. The broken relationships, the time lost, and the damage to my own self-worth were far more costly than any win could ever make up for.

It’s not easy to quit, and it’s not something that happens overnight. But acknowledging the real cost of my addiction was the first step in reclaiming my life.

A Message of Hope

If you’re reading this and find yourself in the same situation — lost in the cycle of betting, especially with parlays — I want you to know that there is hope. The damage can be undone. You can take back control, one step at a time. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Reach out to support groups, talk to those who understand your struggles, and take the necessary steps to stop the cycle. The true cost of gambling is far greater than money, but the rewards of recovery are priceless.

If you're struggling, remember: you’re not alone. The journey of recovery is one filled with ups and downs, but with each step, you gain back more than just what you’ve lost. You gain your time, your peace of mind, and your life back.

Sunday, August 3, 2025

The Breaking Point: What Finally Made Me Want to Quit Sports Gambling

 There’s a moment in every gambler’s life—if they’re lucky—when the lies, the debt, the shame, and the pain stack up so high that something inside them snaps. That moment for me? It came with a broken heart and an empty bank account.

For the longest time, I thought I could control it. I convinced myself I was just in a slump. That I was due. That one more parlay, one more "lock of the day" would make it all worth it. I funded my bets with credit cards, opening one after another until the balances blurred together. When the minimum payments caught up with me, I took out personal loans—big ones—to wipe the slate clean. But instead of quitting, I used the relief to gamble even more.

Chasing losses became my full-time job.

I lived in fear of phone calls and emails from lenders. I dreaded checking my bank account. And I hated who I was becoming. But the worst part wasn’t the money.

It was losing her.

She was my best friend. The one who saw something in me when I couldn’t even see it in myself. She stood by me through the first few lies. She forgave the broken promises, and the silence when I was glued to my phone tracking scores. But eventually, even the strongest love can't survive a one-sided fight. I was no longer her partner—I was a stranger lost in an obsession I refused to face.

When she left, I finally saw what gambling had taken from me. Not just money—but trust, connection, and the person I used to be.

That was my breaking point.

And if you’re reading this—maybe you're close to yours. Maybe you’re hiding credit card debt, taking out loans you’ll never pay back, or lying to someone you love. Maybe your relationship is starting to crumble under the weight of your addiction. Maybe they’ve already told you they’re thinking about walking away.

Let me tell you this: You don’t have to wait until you lose everything.

I did. And rebuilding is hard—but it is possible.

Since that breaking point, I’ve started putting the pieces back together. I’ve learned that recovery is not about being perfect—it’s about being honest. I created a community of people who understand the madness of sports gambling. I’ve replaced late-night betting with late-night journaling. I’ve begun to make amends where I can and forgive myself where I must.

If your relationship is on the fence right now, hear this:

You can still change the story. You can choose to quit before you lose it all. Be honest with the person who loves you. Not just for them—but for you. You deserve peace. You deserve clarity. You deserve to love without the weight of lies and addiction dragging you down.

It starts with one step. Just one.

That was my breaking point.
Let this be your turning point.

If you're ready to stop, you're not alone. Reach out. Join a support group. Talk to someone. The path is hard—but freedom is on the other side.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. 

Thursday, July 31, 2025

It's Just Preseason — Don’t Let It Pull You Back In

 It’s Just Preseason — Don’t Let It Pull You Back In

Tonight, the NFL preseason kicks off — a time many sports fans get excited for. But for those of us in recovery from a gambling addiction, this isn’t just a harmless game night.

Let’s be real: preseason games mean nothing in the long run. 

Starters barely play. Coaches are testing second- and third-stringers. The outcomes are unpredictable and irrelevant. And yet, sportsbooks still find a way to slap odds on it. Why? Because they know there are people out there who’ll bet on anything — especially when they’re chasing that old high.

If you're a recovering sports gambler, this is a moment to pause and protect yourself.

You don’t have to watch. You don’t have to engage.
If it’s a trigger — and for many of us, it is — avoid it. You owe nothing to the NFL, your fantasy league, or your old group chat. You’ve worked too hard to let something as meaningless as a preseason game shake your foundation.

Remember Why You Quit

You’re not here by accident. You quit gambling because it was destroying parts of your life — financially, emotionally, spiritually. Chasing action, losing sleep, lying to loved ones, constantly checking scores, living in anxiety.

So when that familiar pull comes tonight — to turn on the TV, to scroll the lines, to “just check” — remind yourself: This isn’t worth going back for.

What You Can Do Instead

If you're feeling the itch to watch or bet, here are some things you can do tonight that will actually move your life forward:

1. Call Someone in Recovery

Text or hop on a voice call with someone from your recovery group or Discord community. Talk about what you're feeling. Chances are, they’re feeling it too.

2. Go for a Walk or Hit the Gym

Get your body moving. Changing your physical environment can shift your mental space and reduce cravings.

3. Read a Book or Listen to a Podcast

Choose something that inspires growth. Recovery-focused content, mental health, finance, or even fiction to escape a bit — it’s all better than watching backups fumble through a game that doesn't count.

4. Work on a Personal Goal

Write a few paragraphs in your journal. Set a budget. Cook a new meal. Learn a new skill. Every minute you spend on yourself builds your future.

5. Write About Your Recovery

Start a blog post. Make a journal entry. Even draft a social media post about how you're skipping the preseason to protect your peace. It’s powerful to document moments like this — they’ll mean something later.

6. Plan a Non-Football Weekend

Make plans for the weekend that don't revolve around sports. Go to a movie. Visit a friend. Check out a local event. Build your life outside the game.

You’re Not Missing Out — You’re Moving On

Every day you stay away from gambling is a win. Don’t let tonight’s preseason kickoff pull you back into something you fought so hard to leave. The real action is in your recovery — in your peace, your progress, and your presence in the moment.

It’s just preseason.
Your life is worth more than this.

Sunday, July 27, 2025

Fantasy Football: A Risky Trap for Recovering Sports Bettors

 As football season kicks off, it’s impossible to miss the hype. Fantasy leagues are forming. Drafts are being planned. The chatter at work, in group texts, and online is constant. For most people, this is just another season of competition and fun. But for us—those in recovery from sports gambling addiction—this time of year is loaded with landmines.

Let’s be honest: fantasy football is gambling in disguise.

It may not feel like placing a traditional bet, but when money is on the line, or even pride and ego, it taps into the same compulsions. You’re tracking games. You’re analyzing stats. You’re glued to the screen hoping that a player scores—or doesn’t. The rush. The control. The obsession. All of it mimics the emotional rollercoaster of gambling.

Why Fantasy Football Is Dangerous for Us:

1. It Triggers the Same Obsessive Behavior
Even if you're not placing traditional bets, fantasy sports encourage fixation on scores, player performance, and outcomes. It's not harmless entertainment when your brain associates these patterns with past addiction.

2. It Keeps You Mentally in the Game
Recovery is about detachment from the gambling mindset. If you're still watching every snap and tracking every stat, you're not letting go—you're just feeding the beast in a different form.

3. Social Pressure Makes It Harder to Say No
Friends might not understand why you’re stepping back from fantasy leagues. But this is your life. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your recovery. Real friends will understand.

4. It Opens the Door to Relapse
Today it’s fantasy football. Tomorrow it’s a $5 parlay. Before you know it, you're justifying bets “for fun” again. Recovery means closing that door—fully.

5. Even Watching Sports Can Be a Trigger
For many of us, watching games is not relaxing. It’s anxiety-inducing. It reminds us of past bets, losses, wins, and the thrill of the action. If watching football is emotionally or mentally activating for you, it may be best to skip it for now.

So What Can You Do Instead?

Focus on building a life you don’t want to escape from. Recovery opens the door to real freedom—financial, emotional, mental. Trade game days for:

  • A hike, gym session, or walk outside
  • Reading or writing about your journey
  • Spending time with family or people who support your recovery
  • Joining recovery groups, forums, or Discord chats
  • Volunteering, working on a new skill, or starting a side hustle

Remember: This Season Doesn’t Have to Be a Setback

Just because football is starting doesn’t mean your recovery has to stop. You don’t have to be part of fantasy leagues. You don’t have to sit through Monday Night Football with a pit in your stomach. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone who doesn’t get it.

You do have to protect your peace.
You do have to stay honest with yourself.
You do have to choose recovery over temporary excitement.

Let this be the year you finally break free from the chains of sports gambling—fantasy leagues and all. You’re not missing out. You’re taking your life back.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. 

900 Days.

900 days since my last bet. 900 days since the last time I sat and watched a sporting event thinking I could win money on it. It’s strange h...