The Ins and Outs of Recovering from a Gambling Addiction

Recovering from a gambling addiction is a transformative journey that requires commitment, resilience, and a willingness to embrace change. Whether you've recently recognized the need to stop gambling or have been on this path for a while, the process is not just about abstaining from gambling but also about rebuilding your life in meaningful ways.

This journey can feel overwhelming at times, as gambling addiction often impacts multiple aspects of life, including finances, relationships, and mental health. However, it’s also an opportunity to rediscover yourself, regain control, and experience a more fulfilling and balanced life.

In recovery, it’s crucial to understand both the "ins"—the positive actions, habits, and mindsets that support your journey—and the "outs"—the pitfalls, behaviors, and triggers to avoid. By focusing on the right tools and strategies, and by remaining mindful of potential risks, you can navigate this path with confidence and hope.

Below, we’ll explore these key elements in detail to help you build a strong foundation for long-term recovery and a brighter future.

The Ins: What to Focus On

1. Building a Support System

Recovery is not a solo journey. Surround yourself with people who understand and support your efforts to stay gamble-free. Join recovery groups like Gamblers Anonymous or online communities, such as Discord servers for recovering gamblers. Sharing your story with trusted friends or family can also provide emotional relief and accountability.

2. Setting Financial Boundaries

One of the most challenging aspects of recovery is regaining control of your finances. Start by closing gambling accounts and blocking gambling websites. Consider working with a financial advisor or appointing a trusted accountability partner to help manage your money. Using a cash-only system can also help limit access to large sums or credit, reducing the temptation to gamble.

3. Identifying and Managing Triggers

Understanding what drives your gambling behavior is essential. Common triggers might include stress, boredom, or specific events like sports seasons. Develop strategies to cope with these triggers, such as exercising, journaling, or picking up a new hobby to redirect your focus.

4. Seeking Professional Help

Don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Therapists specializing in gambling addiction can provide tools and strategies tailored to your needs. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in addressing underlying patterns and thoughts that lead to gambling.

5. Tracking Progress and Celebrating Milestones

Recovery is about progress, not perfection. Keep a journal to track your days gamble-free and the positive changes you’re experiencing. Celebrate your milestones, whether it’s a week, a month, or a year free from gambling. These celebrations can motivate you to keep moving forward.

6. Learning New Coping Mechanisms

Find healthy ways to deal with stress and negative emotions. Mindfulness and meditation can help you stay grounded, while engaging in activities like volunteering, exercising, or creative pursuits can provide a sense of purpose and joy.

7. Educating Yourself

Knowledge is power. Learn about the psychological and financial impacts of gambling addiction to better understand your recovery process. Remember, recovery is about growth and self-discovery, not achieving perfection.

The Outs: What to Avoid

1. Avoiding Triggers

Steer clear of environments, apps, and situations that encourage gambling. Limit your exposure to gambling-related advertisements and media, especially during events like sports seasons.

2. Overconfidence in Recovery

It’s tempting to think you can gamble responsibly after some time away, but this mindset can quickly lead to relapse. Stay committed to your decision to remain gamble-free.

3. Secrecy

Keeping your struggles or urges hidden can make recovery more challenging. Transparency with your support system builds trust and accountability, making it easier to stay on track.

4. Financial Risk-Taking

Avoid engaging in high-risk financial behaviors, such as speculative investing, which can mimic the thrill of gambling. Focus on building a stable and secure financial foundation instead.

5. Neglecting Self-Care

Your physical and mental well-being play a crucial role in recovery. Prioritize healthy habits like proper sleep, balanced nutrition, and regular exercise. Avoid overworking yourself, as burnout can increase vulnerability to relapse.

6. Dwelling on Losses

Obsession over past financial losses or trying to “make it back” is counterproductive and can hinder your emotional recovery. Instead, focus on the future and the progress you’re making.

7. Associating with Enablers

Distance yourself from individuals or groups who normalize or encourage gambling behavior. Surround yourself with people who support your recovery goals.

Recovery from gambling addiction is a journey filled with challenges and triumphs. Celebrate your progress, learn from setbacks, and remain committed to building a healthier, more fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone. Many people have successfully overcome gambling addiction, and so can you. With the right tools, support, and mindset, a brighter future is within reach.

Steps 8 and 9: The Hardest Part of Recovery

In any recovery programs there are typically twelve steps to the program: 

1. We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become unmanageable. ✅
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living. ✅
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding. ✅
4. Made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves. ✅
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. ✅
6. We're entirely ready to have these defects of character removed. ✅
7. Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. ✅
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. ⭘
9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. ⭘
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. ✅
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. ✅
12. Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to other compulsive gamblers. ✅

 

If this was a test, I would barely be passing at 83 percent. But it's not. It's real life. 

 

One of the hardest parts of recovery is coming face to face with the damages done to other individuals we truly care(d) about the most. Over the past 580 or so days, I've had to face the uncomfortable truth about myself and take full responsibility for the lies, hurt and broken trust I left as a result of my past life. This is especially true for someone I still very much love. 

 

Step 8: Make a list of all persons we had harmed. 

 

There only will ever be one person that comes to mind. I lied, not always but I lied, nonetheless. I lied about my gambling, how much I was in debt and how bad my addiction truly was. I lied about how I was feeling, telling her I was fine when I was not. I did not want to face reality most days because I knew exactly where it would end up. At first, the lies were small, quick excuses to cover up my shame. But soon, they became heavier, suffocating the very connection that mattered most.

 

Step 9: Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 

 

I wish I could tell her in person, but I also know, I am the last person she ever wants to see again. If you have this opportunity to make amends in person, do it. Don't take the cowards way out and write about it for others to see. Or do and try to make it sincere as possible.

Making amends is more than saying “I’m sorry”; it’s about showing through action that we take responsibility for our behavior and are working to change. I owe her more than a hollow apology—I owe her honesty and accountability. While I can’t undo the harm I caused, I can take steps to ensure I never repeat those mistakes.

 

"****** (Name redacted for obvious reasons)—

There is no amount of apologies that can make up for the lies and trust I broke. You were nothing but the greatest woman I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I was too ashamed to admit my faults, so I kept hiding—hiding in the office, hiding from the truth, and hiding from you. I avoided confronting my addictive behaviors because deep down, I knew this was exactly where I would end up if I continued down that path. And yet, I did it anyway.

I let you believe things were okay, even when they weren’t. I never told you how devastated I was when I didn’t get into veterinary school. I carried that failure like a secret shame and tried to medicate the depression the only way I knew how—by hiding in the office, watching sports, and gambling money I didn’t really have. I’m deeply sorry for taking out loans just to pay off my credit cards, and then using those same cards to fuel my addiction. The weight of those choices is mine alone, but I know you carried the fallout, and that’s not fair.

You didn’t deserve any of this. You deserved my honesty, my vulnerability, and my trust—things I should have given freely but withheld out of fear and pride. For that, I will always regret what I did.

I miss you, Zinnia, and Dolly. I miss the life we shared and the future I selfishly threw away. I know that an apology won’t bring any of it back, but I hope this honesty can bring some small measure of peace, if not for us, then at least for you. 

I love you."

What I’ve Learned

Steps 8 and 9 have taught me that true healing requires courage. It requires us to confront the damage we’ve caused, no matter how painful it may be, and take meaningful steps to repair it. Apologizing to the people we’ve hurt does not guarantee forgiveness, but it allows us to release the burden of shame and guilt that we’ve carried.

I’ve also learned that making amends is not a one-time act; it’s a lifelong commitment to living differently. For me, that means continuing to work on my recovery, being honest with those around me, and sharing my story so others know they aren’t alone.

To the woman I love, and to anyone else I’ve hurt along the way: I hope my actions moving forward can be a better apology than any words I could write.

If you’re struggling with gambling addiction and feel overwhelmed by the damage it’s caused, know this: recovery is possible. Steps 8 and 9 are not easy, but they are a path to healing, both for yourself and for the people you care about. Start where you are, be willing to face the truth, and take things one step at a time.

We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it—and we can build a better future.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.