Three years ago I was at my lowest. I was nearly 6 digits in consumer debt ( from my own stupidity), had a maxed out credit card with a 23% interest rate and 2 relatively large personal loans that I had taken out to pay off the credit card. I felt miserable and depressed and a shit ton of other feelings I did not know I had. Oh yeah, did I mention I was also almost 250 Ibs? no bueno for someone 5’3….5’4 on a good day.
I had to get to the point where I was “sick and tired of being sick and tired” ( as Papa Dave says….IYKYK). That was literally the starting point for me. I was depressed, I just gambled money I did not have, I maxed out my credit cards and was sitting in my living room watching the Warriors/ Lakers playoff game after having 4-6 bets with player props AND ALL OF THEM LOST. The next day, I was at Tulip Fest in Holland Michigan. I overdraft my bank account and maxed out another card just to gamble on Nuggets/Suns and Celtics/76ers. Thinking If these other 10 bets I just placed between these two games hit, i’ll be golden….nope. Annnnnnddddddd that was on May 7th, 2023.
Three years may not seem as much, but to someone starting out, they would love to get to this point in their recovery and for that, I shall continue. Just remember every day above ground is a good day, and every day without gambling is considered a win. (Hence the name “Winning Daily”)
If you’re currently in the shoes I once wore, and are wondering “so what do I do next?”, stick around. The next couple paragraphs could (hopefully) be for you.
I will never not say this. GO TO THERAPY. I do not care if you are a macho manly man who thinks he does not need therapy because he’s “got it figured out” stop reading this and get over yourself, one. Two, therapy is great because a trained and licensed professional can help you figure out why you even gamble in the first place. Majority of the time (75-85% based on stats I made up for this blog) there’s something deeper hitting us and we do not want to address it or run away from it, so…..WE HIDE AND GAMBLE OUR FEELINGS AWAY. Therapy will address those core issues and help move past it or easier way to deal with it. I aint afraid to say it, I was depressed from not getting into Vet school and thought, “well if I can win money and make as much money as I would’ve made yearly as a Vet, I will be fine.” NEWSFLASH- you can’t and won’t. You will more times than not go further into debt ( more than these graduate school degrees cost) if you continue down this path of stupidity.
This leads me to my next point: give up access to money. For many of us, money is a trigger. Whether it’s too much money we think we can afford to lose, or not enough money we think we can win more for daily necessities. We cannot be trusted with money until we do inner work on ourselves and our relationship with money.
“Well, what does that look like?”
Read finance books:
follow financial experts (and not the TikTok ones)
watch YouTube videos (would be the easiest and cheapest way to do it….unless you’re paying for YouTube TV)
talk to professional finance people and LEARN.
When you change your relationship with money, you’ll shift from chasing it emotionally, to controlling it intentionally.
GO TO THE GYM- As I previously mentioned, I was sitting around 250 Ibs ( my heaviest ever) during my “gambling career”. Now why was that you might ask? Because I never wanted to miss a chance to maybe win money. I (felt) needed to be in on some action. So what did it actually cost? My physical health. However, in the past 3 years, that has been something thats been one of my top priorities. Since then, I am down 40-50 Ibs with goals to get back to college weight (160-170). There are so much benefits to living a healthier lifestyle not just in general but especially for someone who’s in recovery or has addictive personality.
As a recovering sports gambler, I thought the hardest part would be not watching sports for a full year. But honestly, It was not as bad as I expected. I just stopped paying attention to it. I stayed busy- work, gym, therapy- repeat.
After a few months of work, when football/futbol came back around in the Fall, it was just…whatever. It did not have the same pull on me anymore.
I started asking myself one question anytime I thought about watching:
“Do I actually like this sport, or do I just like the idea of winning money?”
If it was about the money, I stayed away. Because thats not love for the game- thats the addiction sneaking its way back in.
BUILD A COMMUNITY AROUND YOU: this is always and will forever be important when it comes to recovery. Build a community of people who have gone and are currently going through similar issues as you. This addiction makes us feel alone, like no one knows what we’re dealing with but I promise you, there are millions of others going through what you’re going through. If you don’t feel you belong in any of the ones already created, talk to others and build one yourself. There are plenty of safe spaces out there, including the Problem Gamblers in Recovery discord group which free and easy to join.
So, those are just a few of the things I did. But what about what I did not do?
Gamble.
I also stopped drinking, but this blog is not about alcohol.
If you gained nothing else from this blog, read this:
You can change.
Gambling does not own you.
You are capable and worthy of a life freed from the chains of a gambling addiction.
Your life matters.
Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.
