In My Next Twenty- Nine Years

 March 31st marks my twenty-ninth trip around the sun. In my first twenty nine years of living, my biggest regret is not the gambling itself but the time it took from me. Time that could have been spent building a life filled with meaningful experiences and connections. However, with every day that passes in recovery, I'm reminded that while I cannot change the past, I have the power to shape my future.

In my twenties, a time when many are exploring their passions, building careers, and laying the foundations for their future, I was caught in a cycle of addiction. Opportunities for career advancement were overlooked, and personal milestones were overshadowed by the immediate need to feed my addiction. But after nearly 300 days abstaining, I have been able to advance in my career. One that has been very rewarding to this day, and will continue to be moving forward. 

Now, as I approach 30, I'm learning to live with the regrets of my past while also using them as a foundation for a brighter future. The lessons learned from battling gambling addiction are lessons of resilience, the importance of support systems, and the strength that comes from facing one's demons.

What has helped me these past 300 plus days?

Self exclusion: By self-excluding you're telling the casino/ sportsbooks you know you have a problem and are not allowing yourself to gamble anymore. These laws vary by state as well as the maximum amount of time you can self-exclude. Some states such as Illinois consider it a lifetime ban. However after 5 years, you can remove yourself from the ban list. If self-exclusion is not an option for the compulsive gambler, there is an app/website that can block all gambling sites. Gamban is an easy alternative which blocks online gambling from all devices including on a laptop. The downfall is there is a small price to keep these on any device. 

 

Heres a link to the Illinois gaming board website with more information on self-excluding here in Illinois. 

Finding support system: Finding a support system is key to overcoming any kind of addiction let alone a gambling addiction. When I first sought out help, I went right to the internet. A rabbit hole later on the interwebs, I found the r/problemgambling and r/gamblingaddiction reddit communities and started finding support there. Reading the stories from other people going through similar hard times and seeing them come out stronger gave me the courage to stop gambling and keep abstaining. Knowing I was and am not alone in this fight of addiction was what kept me going back to the reddit community daily.

I went to a handful of Gamblers Anonymous meetings and SMART recovery meetings at the start. I add both to my recovery tool belt and whenever I start to feel an urge, I join one of the many meetings going on throughout the world daily.

The biggest one has been my creation of the “Compulsive Gamblers in Recovery” discord server: https://discord.gg/xwER4Ndw. Join today for more support and to talk to other compulsive gamblers. We are trying to build a supportive community and help each other get through our gambling addictions.

Therapy: Identifying underlying issues therapy can help individuals uncover the root causes of their addiction. Often, we are using or have used gambling to cope with unresolved emotional or psychological issues such as depression, anxiety or trauma. Through therapy, we can learn healthier coping mechanisms to replace our gambling habits. For Instance, when I feel an urge or during the times I gambled heavy in the past, I replaced those times with going for a walk (before, during or after work) or volunteering at Feed My Starving Children (after work). Other forms might include stress reduction techniques, relaxation exercises and mindfulness practices.

As Tim McGraw says in his song “My Next Thirty Years”: 

My next 30 years I'm gonna settle all the scores

Cry a little less, laugh a little more

Find a world of happiness without hate and fear

Figure out just what I am doing here, in my next thirty years.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.