Day 359

One week from today will be one year. Will I be celebrating? How can one truly celebrate such a feat? It's not like I'm going to the bar to celebrate (I'm also 282 days sober from alcohol). I'll probably just write more blogs and work out. Thats it, thats my celebration. The grind don't stop for milestones. The grind stops when I'm six feet under.

One of the apps I use allows you to see how much money was saved since I stopped gambling. $54,000 has been saved in the last 51 weeks. To break it down further, thats $1,058/ week. It's crazy to think what us compulsive gamblers do to come up with that kind of money. Did I have that kind of money? No. I roughly make that much in 1 year. Thats gross (no taxes taken out, but also gross as in disgusting). Of course I did not have that money to begin with. I was stupid enough to take out loans (which is stupid easy to do. I'll have a separate blog about that). I used credit cards with stupid high interest rates to fund my addiction. I would pay barely the minimum, then use the card to fund the addiction, and pay interest with that and would go over. I would recommend NOT doing that. If this is you, this is your sign to stop. Stop the ever losing cycle of horrible debt management and using credit cards to fund your gambling addiction. 

If I was smart like I thought I was, this is where that money should've gone:

- Save for a wedding

- down payment on a house

- future child fund

- payoff student loans

- save for dream vacation 

- travel the world

But thats all in the past now. Just like when we try chasing our losses. All that money we lost is gone. No matter how bad we want to try and get it back, we can not and will never get it back. If we keep trying, we'll just keep digging our grave deeper and deeper before it's too hard to get out. Accept what's in front of you. Don't look back. Move forward to a better tomorrow by stepping out of the cycle. If you're in a similar situation, talk to someone. Tell someone you can confide in, someone who's willing to lend a helping hand or ears to listen. We don't need to keep living in this losing cycle forever. 

If you’re currently feeling a similar way, please know you are not alone. There are many other people out there going through similar issues and want to help you. One of those places is right in the “Compulsive Gamblers in Recovery'' discord server. Currently at 85 members and growing daily. I (u/geoffwinningdaily, naturalscholar (discord)) created this server as a supportive environment to help others with their gambling problems. If this seems of interest to you, join here: https://discord.gg/VR9HSfmg

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.

Playoff time

 If you are a sports gambler like I was, this time of the year is probably a little more difficult for us. Between February and June is usually a huge run of professional sports tournaments, and playoffs. This time of the year is NBA and NHL playoff time. If you wanted to just be in the action, any kind of game would fix that itch. It did not matter if you were a fan of that team, especially if all we care about its getting in on the action.

I remember my last bet like it was yesterday (although it was May 7th, 2023). I tried moving money around so fast that it did not matter to me as long as I was able to get a bet in. 76ers vs Celtics. My mom, her boyfriend, my significant other and I at the time all were in Holland Michigan for the Tulip Festival. We went to a flea market which was part of the Festival to look around. While my mom and significant other were off looking at stuff, I had my head buried in my phone, off to the side where all the picnic benches were, watching the box score of the game rooting on my plays. Did not even care about the game, I just cared that I turned that last $10 into something. In hindsight, what I should have done was hold my girlfriend's hand and walk around with her and my mom. Spending time with the people I cared about the most. I think thats what we miss the most when we look back on the past. Spending valuable time with the people we care about and love deeply.

Do i remember the game? No. The game did not matter. To me at the time, I just wanted a chance to win money. For what? It would've been gone anyways had I won. If it did hit, I would’ve probably increased my next bet to try and win more money that would’ve just done the same. The never ending cycle of winning and losing it all.

As I have said before. We lose out on so much time when we gamble. Time we can not get and will never get back. So spend the time we have on this earth wisely. Find alternatives for gambling. Whether that is in the gym working out, gardening, reading a book, journaling, or cooking. Spend that time with people you love and care about the most. 

If you’re currently feeling a similar way, please know you are not alone. There are many other people out there going through similar issues and want to help you. One of those places is right in the “Compulsive Gamblers in Recovery'' discord server. Currently at 85 members and growing daily. I (u/geoffwinningdaily, naturalscholar (discord)) created this server as a supportive environment to help others with their gambling problems. If this seems of interest to you, join here :https://discord.gg/p8nPXq6X 

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.

Navigating Loneliness in Gambling Addiction Recovery: Embracing Boredom for Healing

 I know I have not been writing a lot of blogs lately. I have been trying to keep busy with other things in life at the moment. But I just listened to the entire TTPD album for the 10th (!!!) time and I am DOWN BAD at the moment. Nearly one year in recovery (day 356 as of this writing) and my mind is still playing games with me. No, the urges are not there. But this is one of those times I am letting boredom take the reigns. Typically I would be on the side of not letting oneself get too bored because that could lead to relapse. But then again, sometimes being bored is alright. I can tell you, it’s a lot better than gambling. 

In the journey of recovery from gambling addiction, embracing moments of boredom becomes a vital component of healing and growth. Boredom serves as a stark contrast to the rush of gambling, offering an invitation to reconnect with oneself and the world around us. In the quiet space of boredom, we are afforded the opportunity to cultivate mindfulness and self-awareness, to confront the underlying emotions and triggers that fuel addictive behaviors. It provides a sanctuary for reflection and introspection, allowing us to rediscover our passions, values, and sense of purpose beyond the confines of addiction. Embracing boredom in recovery should not be about succumbing to idleness, but rather about reclaiming agency over our time and attention, and nurturing a deeper appreciation for the richness of life's simple pleasures. It serves as a reminder that true fulfillment is found not in the fleeting highs of gambling, but in the depth and richness of our everyday experiences.

One thing we know ALL TOO WELL about this disease is that It makes us feel lonely as crap. When we gamble(d), we sometimes did it by ourselves because we feel ashamed and embarrassed we’re doing it in the first place. For some of us, that feeling of loneliness will not go away even in recovery. The journey to recovery can be a solitary one, as it requires introspection, honesty, and resilience in the face of inner turmoil. Additionally, the rebuilding of relationships strained by gambling may take time, leaving us feeling disconnected from loved ones and support networks. Moreover, the absence of the familiar comfort of gambling as a coping mechanism can amplify feelings of emptiness and uncertainty. While recovery offers the promise of a brighter future, it also entails navigating the complexities of loneliness as we learn to forge new connections and rebuild a sense of belonging.

If you’re currently feeling a similar way, please know you are not alone. There are many other people out there going through similar issues and want to help you. One of those places is right in the “Compulsive Gamblers in Recovery” discord server. Currently at 85 members and growing daily. I (u/geoffwinningdaily, naturalscholar (discord)) created this server as a supportive environment to help others with their gambling problems and hope to keep growing this moving forward. 

https://discord.gg/qHwakUBa

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART is basically the anthem. Thank you Taylor.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.

From Darkness to Light: How Physical Activity Saved Me from Addiction and Depression

Weight has always been a struggle for me, especially during my formative years. At my heaviest, I tipped the scales at around 235-240 pounds during junior year of high school. For someone of my stature—standing at just 5’3”—that felt overwhelmingly heavy. However, by the time I reached the end of my junior year in college, I managed to shed a significant amount of weight, down to a much healthier 165 pounds. This journey took me about four to five years of dedicated effort, incorporating weightlifting, regular workouts, and even participating in 5k and 10k races. Throughout college, fitness became an integral part of my daily routine, complemented by physically demanding farm jobs that kept me active and engaged.

Then Covid happened.

Like countless others, the pandemic upended my life in unexpected ways. Suddenly, my activity levels plummeted as I found myself confined to home with my family, juggling long work hours alongside them. The healthy habits I had cultivated over the years began to erode, replaced by sedentary pastimes like binge-watching sports and YouTube videos. With each passing day of inactivity, the weight I had worked so hard to shed gradually started creeping back, and I found myself in a downward spiral of demotivation.

Simultaneously, I was grappling with personal and professional disappointments. Despite multiple attempts, my dreams of pursuing veterinary school were repeatedly dashed, plunging me into a deep well of depression. Rather than seek support, I internalized my struggles, allowing them to bottle up. Compounding these issues was a burgeoning gambling habit, a destructive coping mechanism that only served to exacerbate my problems. So, on May 7th, 2023 I decided to break the cycle of self-destructive behavior. 

In the ensuing months, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and renewal. Returning to the gym became my salvation, reigniting my passion for physical activity. I rediscovered the joy of movement, recognizing its ability to release dopamine—the same neurotransmitter I had sought through gambling. As the pounds began to melt away once again, so too did the shackles of despair that had bound me.

Today, I am proud to say that I have reclaimed control over my life. While the specter of depression still looms on occasion, I refuse to let it dictate my destiny. Through the highs and lows, I prioritize my well-being, making it a point to engage in regular exercise, whether it's a leisurely stroll or an intense gym session. Each step forward reaffirms my commitment to sobriety and self-improvement, proving that resilience and determination can overcome even the darkest of times. Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.

Be The Master Of Your Own Life

Masters weekend is here. For us compulsive sports gamblers, this was usually a time we would sit back with our feet up on our recliners, place that bet for winners or top 5. Maybe catch a snooze and drink plenty of alcoholic beverages.But did we really know who was playing? Or was the sight of a +6500 just really alluring to us? Did we just want in on some action just because? 

Instead of watching the Masters and gambling on it this weekend, do this instead: 

Go for a walk 

Talk the dogs out for a walk

Exercise

Meditate

Write in a journal

Go for a hike 

Read a book

Take a class on Coursera

Take a Masterclass

Spend quality time with SO’s 

Spend quality time with family 

Take the family out for a walk

Play video games 

Watch movies 

Put up a bird feeder and watch birds 

The point of this blog: there is a life outside of wasting our hard-earned money on something pointless that will only bring us more misery. Time to get serious about living our lives the way it should be lived and not behind a phone screen watching odds on a sporting event go up or down or watching some online video gaming machine try to get 5 in a row. Take back your life today, stay abstinent and let's all live better lives. Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.

Unlocking Recovery: The Vital Role of an Action Plan in Overcoming Gambling Addiction

 One thing I wish I had realized early on in recovery was how important having a plan of action was. The first few days after my last bet, I just kept laying around as if it was nothing. Those are the times you have to be careful the most because it could cause you to go right back to your harmful ways. Having an action plan of what is going to be done, when to do it and how you’ll do it is very important part of recovering from a gambling addiction. 

Why a Plan of Action is Essential

• Provides Structure: In the chaos that addiction brings, a plan of action serves as a lighthouse. It provides structure in what otherwise feels like an unmanageable life. Knowing what steps you need to take each day helps in maintaining focus and direction.

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• Helps Measure Progress: A structured plan allows for the setting of tangible goals. This is vital for motivation and for tracking progress. Seeing how far you've come can be a powerful motivator to keep pushing forward.

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• Creates Accountability: A plan, especially when shared with others, holds you accountable. It's a commitment to yourself and those who support you that you're serious about recovery.

What is in my action plan?

1. Self exclude: The first and most crucial step I took was to self-exclude from all sportsbooks. This immediate barrier to gambling outlets significantly reduces the temptation and accessibility, making it easier to resist urges. Then do a state-wide self exclusion, this blocks yourself from entering in-person casinos and other online apps. 

2. Find a support group: Finding a support group is essential when it comes to recovery. A big one is Gamblers Anonymous. Talking with other compulsive gamblers with lived experience is an important part of recovery. It lets us know, we are not alone in this fight. Others have gone through similar situations and have lived to see the light at the end of the long dark tunnel. If you have been to GA meetings and find it is not for you, thats fine. There are plenty of other places to find support as well. One such place I started out was r/problemgambling on Reddit. Great forum to go and read stories of others from around the world going through similar issues as us. 

One last good support group is the Discord server “Compulsive Gamblers in Recovery”. Founded with the mission to provide a safe and understanding space for those struggling with compulsive gambling, this online community has become a beacon of hope for individuals seeking support and solidarity on their journey to overcome addiction.Within the virtual halls of this Discord server, members find a sense of camaraderie and understanding that is often lacking in their day-to-day lives. Here, individuals from all walks of life come together to share their experiences, offer advice, and lend a listening ear to those in need.

One of the most powerful aspects of the "Compulsive Gamblers in Recovery" Discord server is its emphasis on empathy and non-judgment. Regardless of how dire our situations may seem, members are met with compassion and encouragement rather than condemnation. This culture of acceptance fosters a sense of belonging and empowerment, empowering individuals to confront their addiction head-on. Join here: https://discord.gg/gHnpF3he

3. Finding new hobbies: Replacing gambling with healthier activities is essential. I've started exploring new hobbies that not only occupy my time but also provide a sense of fulfillment and joy that gambling never could. Whether it's sports, reading, or learning a new skill, these activities offer a positive outlet for energy and emotions. One thing I learned through SMART Recovery is making of an “Urges Jar”. 

4. Using an App for Tracking Progress: I've incorporated technology into my recovery process through an app called Evive. The Evive app has been crucial to my recovery from gambling addiction. One of my favorite pieces of the app is the educational modules. Knowledge is power and educating others about gambling addiction helps empower them to take control of their recovery journey. The community has been great also. As many of us know, this disease is one of the most secretive of all addictions and makes us feel alone at times. The community aspect of the app allows us to know, we are not alone. There are many other individuals who have been or are going through similar issues we have been facing and allow us to help others as well. I can not wait to see what more this app can do for individuals looking to build a healthier relationship with gambling or recovering from gambling addiction. 

5. Handing Over Financial Control: Perhaps one of the most significant steps I've taken is handing over control of my finances to a trusted family member. This decision helps prevent the possibility of relapsing due to financial access and encourages me to rebuild trust and responsibility over time.

The journey through gambling addiction recovery is unique for everyone, but the need for a solid plan of action is universal. By sharing my own plan, I hope to inspire others facing similar struggles to take that crucial first step towards recovery. Remember, it's not about the speed of progress but the direction. Each small step forward is a victory in itself. Embrace the journey, and let the plan be your guide towards a healthier, happier life.

Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.