From Darkness to Light: How Physical Activity Saved Me from Addiction and Depression

Weight has always been a struggle for me, especially during my formative years. At my heaviest, I tipped the scales at around 235-240 pounds during junior year of high school. For someone of my stature—standing at just 5’3”—that felt overwhelmingly heavy. However, by the time I reached the end of my junior year in college, I managed to shed a significant amount of weight, down to a much healthier 165 pounds. This journey took me about four to five years of dedicated effort, incorporating weightlifting, regular workouts, and even participating in 5k and 10k races. Throughout college, fitness became an integral part of my daily routine, complemented by physically demanding farm jobs that kept me active and engaged.

Then Covid happened.

Like countless others, the pandemic upended my life in unexpected ways. Suddenly, my activity levels plummeted as I found myself confined to home with my family, juggling long work hours alongside them. The healthy habits I had cultivated over the years began to erode, replaced by sedentary pastimes like binge-watching sports and YouTube videos. With each passing day of inactivity, the weight I had worked so hard to shed gradually started creeping back, and I found myself in a downward spiral of demotivation.

Simultaneously, I was grappling with personal and professional disappointments. Despite multiple attempts, my dreams of pursuing veterinary school were repeatedly dashed, plunging me into a deep well of depression. Rather than seek support, I internalized my struggles, allowing them to bottle up. Compounding these issues was a burgeoning gambling habit, a destructive coping mechanism that only served to exacerbate my problems. So, on May 7th, 2023 I decided to break the cycle of self-destructive behavior. 

In the ensuing months, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and renewal. Returning to the gym became my salvation, reigniting my passion for physical activity. I rediscovered the joy of movement, recognizing its ability to release dopamine—the same neurotransmitter I had sought through gambling. As the pounds began to melt away once again, so too did the shackles of despair that had bound me.

Today, I am proud to say that I have reclaimed control over my life. While the specter of depression still looms on occasion, I refuse to let it dictate my destiny. Through the highs and lows, I prioritize my well-being, making it a point to engage in regular exercise, whether it's a leisurely stroll or an intense gym session. Each step forward reaffirms my commitment to sobriety and self-improvement, proving that resilience and determination can overcome even the darkest of times. Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.