Many of us recovering gambling addicts at one point in our recovery get to a place where we think we can control ourselves. We often think, “I’ve had a certain amount of time recovering, I now know what it feels like, I am recovered, I will be fine”. A few of us will attempt. But when we get that feeling we once had, all that control goes right out the window. The rest of us might realize we will never be able to fully control ourselves and just not partake in such activities any more. Luckily, I am one of those that has fully accepted the fact that I will never be able to gamble again. By no means do I think I am strong. In fact, I’m so very emotionally weak. I’m not afraid to disclose that information, I am already being very vulnerable with much of these blogs.
Of course this weekend was slightly difficult. It was Derby weekend, NHL/NBA playoffs, MLB and Canelo Alvarez had a fight at T-Mobile Arena on Saturday night. In the past, I would’ve walked straight to the sportsbook and placed any kind of bets just to get in on the action. Everyone and their mom here this weekend were talking about two things: 1) Canelo fight 2) Lovers and Friends being canceled the day before, so we just need to find things to do. Gamble! Luckily for me, I know close to nothing about boxing so it did not tempt me one bit. I avoided the sportsbooks because I knew watching sports might be a trigger. If you have not yet done so, figure out your triggers. If you’re a sports gambler like I was, try taking a season or two off from watching sports.
That's why it's important to have a recovery tool belt. When you start feeling the urge to gamble. Delay, delay, delay! I always preach about finding alternative activities for your time. One of those activities I always preach about is going for walks and boy did I ever. I had roughly 30K steps in the first 15 hours, walked nearly 14 miles and burned over 1600 calories (apple watches are usually not accurate, but its the closest readings I have).
Next to alternative activities, the next big thing in your recovery tool belt should be a support system. Find a group of people who are in recovery or looking to stop gambling and be supportive of each other. Over the last few months I created a discord server “Compulsive Gamblers in Recovery'' and we have been growing daily. I (u/geoffwinningdaily, naturalscholar (discord)) created this server as a supportive environment to help others with their gambling problems. If this seems of interest to you, join here: https://discord.gg/aCXERrVV
People are posting there everyday and it seems to be helpful for many. In the next couple weeks, we will start having weekly calls just to chat and talk about our problems we might be facing with our gambling problems or in recovery. Having all these tools, aides in my recovery as well.
In recovery, we often spend our lives looking over our shoulder, looking where the next opportunity to relapse will come from. If we keep doing that, we’re living in constant fear. Are we really living? Focus on a life where gambling does not fit. Keep yourself busy enough you don’t have time to think about it. Make yourself and your recovery the priority first.
By no means am I or will I ever suggest for a compulsive gambler to test themselves in this manner. I loved Vegas before it became a compulsive habit, and there's so much more to do here than just gamble. For instance, I was able to see comedy heartthrob Matt Rife (w/ special guest Joe Gatto) at the Chelsea (Cosmopolitan).
Last time i was here, it was getting constructed but I finally got to see the Sphere. Which was amazing. The sights and sound was spectacular. Postcards from Earth was a great short documentary that showcased a lot of different environments, living in the US we do not get to see often. $3bn to construct along with nearly 170,000 speakers. I would hope the sound is amazing.
This morning, I was able to take my mom out for brunch and have an early Mothers Day celebration. If I was still gambling, I definitely would not be able to do that. I would have thought that money could’ve been used selfishly on slots or the sportsbook. It was a great feeling to tell my mom “Don’t worry, I got this”.
This is the first time in nearly a decade, I am leaving Vegas a WINNER. A winner at life.
Stay grinding, stop gambling. Life gets better. One day at a time.
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